Hurray for College!

Ta-daaaaaa! I have returned after not posting anything for so long. Haha.

So, COLLEGE NA AKO. Yeay. Haha. It is still a little hard to believe since I still feel like I'm a little lost and disoriented kid. Haha. Obviously, it would take a lot of time and painstaking to remember everything that happened from the first day. So I'll be generalizing. Haha.

Ano susuotin ko?
This is normally the first big question I ask myself everyday. Haha. OA much? I don't know. I used to be only grade conscious and hair-conscious. Ever since I stopped wearing uniforms, I'm getting dress-conscious as well. I know people won't really notice what I wear everyday. Anyhow, I like to look good still.

My blockmates have decided to impose a "color of the day" thing. This is gonna help me a lot. :)

FX facts
Just like last year, I h still hitch a ride on Kuya Jobert's FX on the way to school. The trouble is, I have to get off at Pedro Gil now. I can't simply walk from Kalaw to Pedro Gil anymore (although that would be splendid exercise :D ). So my mom talked to Kuya Jobert. Now, he re-routes his FX just to get me right in front of UP-CN, for a little added fare, though.

7-eleven Series
Since I get to Manila one hour before my classes actually starts, I stay at 7-eleven across the street. I use the one hour to comb my hair, powder my face, read a bit, and buy a bottle of water just so I don't have to look like I did something for the store. Haha. This is also where I meet up with my friends before class. Before, it was just me, Bez (Mark), Dencio (DJ) and Tatay (Vincent), but recently, Ace and Kevin have been there too. Yeay. Happy life. May the guard never hate us or send us out. ;))

Attention Span Alert
In HIgh School, I only need to endure a subject for one hour. In college, it's a big challenge for me to wake myself up and start listening again. I've read that the human attention span can only last around twenty minutes, so I have to keep on renewing that once I realize my mind is drifting off. My shortest class is one and a half hour. Oh well. Just needs a little getting used to I guess.

Saan ako kakain?
I could have stuck to bringing lunch, but no. My mom thinks I should start buying food now and somehow learn to budget the allowance. I realize with restaurants scattered around UP plus the heft treasure still in Rob-Manila, that task is kinda hard. I have to consider myself lucky that our breaks are relatively long. :)

Part one muna yan. Tinatamad na ako eh. Haha. And I have a quiz in N1 tomorrow. I also have to start reading that Algebra Module. :)

Pre-college jitters

Love is like a diamond; it takes years of pressure, pain and sacrifice to transform it into its greatest. However, just like a diamond, one love can only be destroyed...by another one.

-----

Wheee. I'm actually college by tomorrow. Haha. I thought I'd mke this post just before college so that I can savor the time that I'm still free and equipped with the luxury of time.

Haha. Actually, yun lang naman sasabihin ko. Ang ewan ko noh? Haha.

Sorry for wasting your time. (Though I really don't know if anyone is reading this. Haha.)

Kanta tayooooo...

Before anything else....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TITO BOY VISARRA MASAMAYOR! :DDDDDDDD

Yeay! Andaming may birthday.

Now, let's move on to more random/irrelevant matters in my life. Haha.

I want to start a blog series! Not the story kind though, the SONG kind. :]]

Okayy. So for these series of posts, I will be posting songs (around 5, I guess) and highlighting or indenting the parts that have a direct connection to my oh so wonderful life. Haha.

Disclaimer: This is in no particular order, if you know what I mean.

Track no. 1:

First up, this used to be my favorite song by Christian Bautista. Very close people will know exactly why.

Disclaimer: I typed this song myself. No copy-pasta method here.

COLOR EVERYWHERE
Christian Bautista

Used to seeing black and white
Never really in between
Waiting on the love of my life
To come into my dreams

Everything is shades of grey
Never really blues or greens
Needed someone else to turn to
Someone who could help me learn to see

All the beauty that was waiting for me...

CHORUS
You...
You put the blue back in the sky
You put the rainbow in my eyes
A silver lining in prayers and now
There's COLOR everywhere
You put the red back in the rules
Just when I needed it the most
You came along to show you care and now
There's COLOR everywhere

Everywhere...

My life is so predictable
Never any mystery
But ever since you shined the light
All of that was history

Now I have a hand to hold
And a reason to believe
There's someone in my life worth living for
I was hanging around just wishing on a star

To put the happiness back in my heart and..

*CHORUS

Oh yeah...
You care and now there's color everywhere..

Left those hazy days behind me
Never to return again
Now they're just a fading memory
Because baby it's all so clear to see
The beauty that is waiting there for me

*CHORUS

A silver lining in my prayers and now
There's COLOR everywhere.
You came along to show you care and now, there's color everywhere.

Track no. 2:

Now here's the current bgm of this blog. Haha. I know in one of my previous posts, I gave out three different songs. Haha. At ngayon ibang-iba na. I was online one day and in the mood for some soundtripping. Knowing that my internet takes forever to load I just played random songs from the folder my cousin downloaded in the computer. I stumbled across this song and...poof! I don't know what happened to me, but next thing I knew I was asking Isay how to add music to my blog and here it is now. I can't really explain why I loved it. Maybe because it well...it had all the right words, words I was never able to utter, words I still want to say...

OVER YOU
Chris Daughtry

Now that it’s all said and done,
I can’t believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

*CHORUS:

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should’ve started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I’d doubt you,
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I’m slowly getting closure.
I guess it’s really over.
I’m finally getting better.
And now I’m picking up the pieces.
I’m spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

*CHORUS:

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should’ve started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I’d doubt you,
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should’ve started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I’d doubt you,
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I’m slowly getting closure.
I guess it’s really over.
I’m finally getting better.
And now I’m picking up the pieces.
I’m spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Putting my heart back together.
Well I’m Putting my heart back together.
‘Cause I got over you..
Well I got over you..
I got over you.
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through,
I got over you.

Haha. Ano ba 'to. Puro blue. Sorry, I kinda overdid the emphasizing. Like I said, it had all the right words.

Track no. 3:

This isn't a new song that I've discovered. I've known this for a long time. Something about it struck me immediately the first time I heard it. Foreshadowing? Haha.

INCOMPLETE
Backstreet Boys

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can’t find no rest
Where I’m going is anybody’s guess

*CHORUS

I tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It’s written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

*CHORUS

I don’t mean to drag it on, but I can’t seem to let you go
I don’t wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)

*CHORUS

incomplete

Track no. 4:

Now THIS is a new song. Haha. I first saw it on Nickelodeon on Nickbeats. I didn't even have the faintest idea what Dvaid Archuleta looked like at that time. I like the song as well as the video. Very well thought of.

A LITTLE TOO NOT OVER YOU
David Archuleta

It never crossed my mind at all
That’s what i tell myself
What we had has come and gone
You’re better off with someone else
It’s for the best, i know it is
But i see you
Sometimes i try to hide
What i feel inside

And i turn around
You’re with him now
I just can’t figure it out

*CHORUS

Tell me why
You’re so hard to forget
Don’t remind me
I’m not over it
Tell me why
I can’t seem to face the truth
I’m just a little too not over you
(eh eh eh oh eh eh eh)
Not over you
(eh eh eh oh eh eh eh)

Memories
Supposed to fade
What’s wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go
Didn’t think it be this hard
Should be strong
Moving on
But i see you
Sometimes i try to hide
What i feel inside

And i turn around
You’re with him now
I just can’t figure it out

*CHORUS

Maybe i regret
Everything i said
No way to take it all back, yeah
Now i’m on my own
How i let you go
I’ll never understand
I’ll never understand
Yeah, oooh, oooh, oooh
Oooooooh
Oh
Ooooh, oh

*CHORUS

*CHORUS

Track no. 5:

LAST NA! Haha. This is a relatively old song. The first time I heard it was on my way to school during elementary. I even remember the DJ explaining the meaning of the title. Haha. Never thought this beautiful, short-titled song would become a huge part of my life. Right now, I'm listening and absorbing every word of this song...probably for the very last time.

214
Rivermaya

Am I real?
Do the words I speak before you
Make you feel
That the love I have for you
Will see no ending?

Well, if you look into my eyes
Then you should know
That you have nothing here to doubt
Nothing to fear
And you can lay your questions down
‘Cause if you’ll hold me
We can fade into the night
And you’ll know

The world could die
And everything may lie
Still you shouldn’t cry
‘Cause time may pass
But longer than it’ll last
I’ll be by your side

Take my hand
And gently close your eyes
So you could understand
That there’s no greater love tonight
Than what I’ve for you
Well, if you feel the same way for me
Then let go

We can journey to a garden no one knows
Life is short, my darling
Tell me that you love me

So we can fade into the night
And you’ll know
The world could die
And everything may lie
But you won’t cry
‘Cause time may pass
And everything won’t last
But I’ll be by your side
Forever by your side
So you won’t cry

--------------

Yeay! Tapos na. Haha.

I've finally finished this outrageous post. Haha.

PM me for questions? Haha.

Birthday Bonanza

Yeaaaaaayyyy.

Andaming may birthday! Haha.

One, two, three and....

Belated Happy Birthday OLIVER LORENZO FERRANCULLO FELISILDA! (June 3)
Miss na kita! Bumalik ka na. Haha.

Belated Happy Birthday Kuya RAYMOND ANTHONY MASAMAYOR RELOVA a.k.a. KUYA RYAN! (June 6)
I miss you so much Kuya! Hope to see you soon. :)

Happy Birthday ARVIEL VELASQUEZ DELA CRUZ! (June 7)
Miss na kita! Libre mo ako!

and of course...

Happy Birthday EMMANUEL ROBERTO VISARRA MASAMAYOR a.k.a. Dad! (June 7)
You don't know how much I want to see you right now. I really, really miss you. I love you, Dad.

I feel like making a blog tribute. Haha.

Hulaan niyo para kanino?

EMMANUEL ROBERTO VISARRA MASAMAYOR
My father. My guide. My REAL first love.

It isn't a secret to many that this great man, my biological father, died when I was five years old. By that time, I was not yet capable of grasping the fact that I lost a father. People tell me that I was even playing around, smiling for pictures. It wasn't until I grew old enough that it finally hit me: Dad's gone, and he's not coming back.

Throughout the course of my life, throughout the 12 years I've lived without him, people have been telling me a lot about him, and each time they tell me, I can't help but wish he lived long enough for me to realize how great a man I have for a father.

Dad was a priest. He said mass for one year, however learned that he really didn't find his calling in being a priest. He got out of the priesthood. Mommy even says there's a copy of a kind of permission notice by Pope John Paul II. She says it's lying somewhere around here. I haven't seen it yet, though,

Dad managed to land a job as advertising manager for WG&A Shipping Lines. This is where he met my mom. And the rest, well, let's just say I was officially introduced into the world. XD

They say I acquired my Dad's eyes, brown and round, as well as his nose, and well, his height. Haha. Mnay people comment that I'm a perfect morph of my parents.

Dad was a very quiet person from what I've gathered from my five-year experience with him. I hate to admit it but I don't really remember his voice that much. However, despite the apparent silence, he had a great many friends. The funeral was jam-packed with loving relatives and friends. A lot of people think he's prone to anger, when in truth he really isn't. He had a lot of friends because he was a really good friend himself. That's one lesson I'll be carrying for the rest of my life.

He was also a terrific boss. Many of his past officemates say that he wasn't the kind of person who would go ballistic over the simplest mistake or fire people out of nowhere. No. He was the kind who would calmly correct people without leaving them with the feeling of intense embarrassment. He was also exceptionally kind to all our household help that time. He would even give them money to watch a movie on their days off.

Dad was also a guitar-player. Sometimes I wish he would teach me how to play. He was also a very wide reader. His collection of books remains here at home. I've always planned on reading the books he read but I never quite got to doing that, but his collection is more than enough for me to believe that he really was fond of reading.

Dad was quite the writer. Many people describe his writing as spontaneous, lively and well, beautiful. I used to nod at this in amazement of how wonderful a writer he must be for people to say such good things about his style of writing. Very recently though, I was able to feast my eyes on tangible proof of his greatness. It turns out Mommy compiled all the letters that Dad sent her. Cellular phones hardly existed before and people mostly used pagers and beepers. Since the nature of Dad's work had him away from home at times, he wrote letters to Mommy. He was a very detailed writer, from what I have gathered. He wrote every single detail of his travels in pure English. He even talked about he felt bad when his favorite PBA team lost. I didn't have the time to read all the letters, but among them was the epilogue he had written for his own mother's funeral. It was a lovely account of how his mother lived. Dad really was a great writer. "Myth confirmed" Disclaimer: I am watching Mythbusters videos on Youtube as I write.

Speaking of PBA, Dad was an ultimate fan of basketball. I remember the times he used to take all of us to Cuneta Astrodome to watch the games. I remember nights when it would be just the two of us in the room. It was either we were watching Disney movies, comedy sitcoms or basketball games. When he was in the seminary, short as he was, he was the coach of theri basketball team.

As I mentioned earlier, he was an advertising manager. He was in charge of all those designs and stuff for the company, and my was he good at it. He created such lovely designs for T-shirts, mugs, logos and the like. Photoshop didn't really exist that time so he used Adobe Pagemaker and at home, his pen and paper. I used to watch him do his designs. He is incredible. His left hand just simply swoops over paper and creates drawings just like that. One reason I love dolphins is that I often recall watching Dad draw dolphins to create logos for the company. Dad was, in fact, the person who taught me how to draw, and I'm starting to regret not carrying on with this passion that we used to share.

But what most people hardly fail to say (and I don't think it's just because they're talking to me) is that Dad had one weakness: Me. A lot of people always tell me how much my father loved me. My parents almost lost me once. Mommy bled once during her pregnancy. That could have been the end of me. Ever since I came into this world, Dad did all he could to show how much he loved me. He would give me all the best. Ever since I was born, I was always included in Dad's letters to Mommy. He made sure I had great clothes, great toys, great everything. I had a full closet of clother, an Imelda-like array of shoes and a room cluttered with my toys or at least, remnants of them. His usually slow-to-anger nature would be crippled if he found out anything happened to me. He made sure everyone in the house spoke English so I would get used to the language. He would be afraid of the slightest scars and even birthmarks that I used to have because he thought I wouldn't be "Ms. Universe" anymore (something I always laugh about these days.) When he would go out of the country, he would buy me toys. Mommy recalls of the time that he carried a really big Donald Duck stuffed toy on the plane like a little kid. To this day, Donald Duck is still here.

Sad to say, I wasn't really the most appreciative daughter in the world back then. My father's constant love kind of spoiled me one way or another. Even I sometimes can't believe how bad a girl I was. There would be times that he would buy me toys I wouldn't like and I would be steaming mad, slamming doors, throwing stuff around, throwing a tantrum in short. Surprisingly, Dad revealed in one of his letters that my tantrums were one of the things he missed about me. I also would not appreciate clothes or shoes. Being a kid and all, all I cared about was toys. I'm sure I hurt my father's feelings a couple of times with these antics of mine.

Dad had a lot of health problems, too. By the time Mommy met him, he already experienced mild strokes. He had diabetes, hypertension, and all the other complications that came with it. Dad was hospitalized September of 1997. Being the kid that I was, I hardly noticed how serious that was. We played in the hospital. I would act like a Queen and Dad would be the King.

I still remember the day Dad collapsed, was brought to the ICU, and eventually died on the 4th of October, 1997. I was in a blue dress that time, the same dress I had worn for my 5th birthday. We had chicken for lunch. For some reason I was having one of my tantrums, and Mommy was scolding me. Dad said that I should not be scolded, since I was only a child.

I went to the bathroom when I suddenly heard Mommy scream and drop a tray of utensils. Next thing I knew I was staring at doctors and nurses rushing back and forth into the room.

Like I said, Dad died, and I hardly realized that.

After he died, Mommy and I would sometimes pretend we could call him in heaven using my toy telephone. We would take turns talking to him on the phone that time. That was fun, even if it was all make-believe. I'd like to try that again sometime.

It's a known fact that one of my favorite movies is The Lion King. Everyone says that every time the cartoon gets to the part when Mufasa dies, I cry. I used to think this happened after Dad's death, which would explain such action as some kind of psychological outlet. But I just found out that all this crying about Mufasa started before Dad's death, meaning ever since I started watching it on tape, I would cry whenever Simba found Mufasa dead. This struck me as some kind of foreshadowing that's often employed in literature. I never thought it could ever be true.

Today, Dad is supposed to be 61 years old. I sometimes think about what life would be like if Dad was still here. He would have played basketball with me. He would have taught me how to draw like he did. He would have taught me how to play the guitar. He could have been the one who attended my graduation. He could have helped me work on my speech and practice it with me. He would have been the first to read the draft. He would have watched all my school presentations. He would have videotaped every single one, photographed every slight movement I would make. He would watch movies with me and recommend books to me.

But I know he's just somewhere there. I know he'll never stop watching over me. He always has. It was hard when I realized I lost Dad, but everything happens for a reason we cannot comprehend at the moment. I still miss Dad, but I wouldn't have had things turn out any other way. I'm happy where I am now.

I'm happy to have a mom who braved time and distance to make ends meet.

I'm happy to have a stepfather who loves me like his own, never mistreating me in any way.

I'm happy to have a stepbrother who taught me that not all people are like me, and I have to learn how to live with that. If it wasn't for Gerald, I would never have learned to cope with different types of personalities. I'll always love him for that, no matter how many short fights we get into.

I'm happy to have a Dad who'll always watch over me even if I can't see him. He's always been there, I know that. I feel that.

And I'm happy that I have a God who constructed my life so beautifully, giving me blessings I don't even think I deserve, giving me trials and heartaches whenever I need them, never giving them to me without a specific purpose. :D

The Lord wants this for me. And I trust Him.

------

Dad, thanks for always being there for me. I'm sorry if I was not the perfect daughter that you deserved when you were still alive. I'm glad I have a father like you, not just because you can do a lot of things and people say good things about you. Above all that, I'm happy because you love me so much. It feels so good knowing someone loves you that much. I want to give you a hug, a kiss and tell you how much I love you too. I hope I grow up to be the daughter you can be proud of, to fulfill the dream you always had for me - well, minus the Ms. Universe part, of course. Haha. I love you Dad. Happy birthday. :D

Pleasure Post. Haha.

Hey hey hey!

Since summer is almost officially about to end, I want to make the most out of it by blogging regularly. Haha. You may think all I'm not posting anything relevant to society but I guess I'm entitled to my own idea of fun once in a while, right?

Haha. This is my pleasure post - pleasure because I am going to enumerate the things I want to have. In short, this is my WISH LIST. Haha. Sorry siguro wala lang talaga akong magawa. Haha. The stuff listed below are all material. I just feel like it, bakit ba. Haha.

1. David Cook Album
Okay. I've just recently began liking his music. Haha. I am so outdated. I personally like his voice very, very much. I don't know but I seem to have developed a liking for rock music. Haha. Anyway, my two personal favorites of his right now are "Come Back to Me," and "Light On." It's so frustrating that I still can't download his songs and transfer it to my phone. I'd sooooo want to have a copy of his album.

2. David Archuleta Album
Fickle much? Haha. Just like David Cook, I have also developed a liking for his music, and not to mention his looks. Haha. I don't know why, but his boy-next-door-looking-so-young-and-cute-image has really gotten to me. I fell in love with his two songs "Crush" and "Little Too Not Over You." They were both very appropriate in my personal life by the way. Haha. Last night, Carlos also recommended his song, "Let's Talk About Love." I really, really liked it. :D

*I've searched both artists so many times on Youtube.

3. Any other Music Album
I've become open to all genres! Haha. Except the really hard metal kind. Anyway, I currently am familiar with a lot more songs than I used to. And I'd love to get a hold of it in any medium! It's kind of irritating to wait for music sites and youtube to load all the time, with my very slow internet and all. Kahit i-bluetooth lang sa phone ko masaya na ako. Haha.

*I've been thinking on what bgm to use for this blog. On top of my list are If Everyone Cared by Nickelback, Light On by David Cook, Let's Talk About Love by David Archi. I'm open to suggestions. (Oh, and how do you put background music anyway? Haha. )

4. Mythbusters Merchandise
Seriously, this addiction of mine is getting crazy. Haha. I'd love to have a Mythbusters T-shirt, Mythbusters Keychain, anything that expresses my support for differentiating the real from the unreal. I'd also looooove to have Mythbusters Season DVDs. I don't know if anything I'm rattling about is even available in the Philippines, but I can always dream right? Haha.

5. UP Merchandise
I love the UP shirts! And I'm so dying to get my hands on any of them but sad to say I'm still low on funds. I don't even have an ID lace yet. Haha.

6. School stuff
Ang mahal ng mga notebook na may divider! I'd really want one of those notebooks with refillable pages. But they are soooo expensive! 150 ata mura na. Grr. And ballpens are getting insanely expensive. On the flipside though, I guess I'll be able to save since I won't need to buy around ten notebooks, pad paper, colored paper, colored pens and the like.

7. Clothes and Shoes
This is so feminine of me. Haha. This is probably due to my aunt, Mama Eden. She loves to take me shopping and she is just so 'talented' in choosing clothes and shoes. Haha. I'd also love some new shoes since UPM-CN has a strict dress code.

8. Books books books
The bookworm in me has revived itself! Haha. Although I read faster years before, I'm slowly getting back on it. I'm craving for more stuff to read. I don't have much time considering summer's about to end. Even if I don't have much time to read though, I'd love getting a book. I enjoy all genres! Haha.

9. DVDs
I have also gotten an interest in movies. Haha. There have been so many movies I haven't watched yet that I really, really want to get my hands on. Youtube just doesn't satisfy me. Haha. Even if I've also watched my share of movies, DVDs would totally brighten my day. Besides, most of the movies I have here are not in DVD format, they're in Betamax and VHS. My Dad was quite the film fanatic himself and we have a considerably large collection of them. I even have a copy of Pinocchio that's in the form of a CD that's really, really big. Uso raw yun dati. Haha. The problem is, our players for those media are busted and I can't watch my favorites anymore. By favorites I mean Lion King, Little Mermaid, Mulan etc. Haha.

10. Watch Harry Potter 6
I CRAVE to watch this in the movie house. The Harry Potter Experience is just so different that I insist on watching it in the cinema as well as getting a DVD copy of it. Haha. It comes out this July which is not very far from my birthday so I really hope I get the birthday money/have a really nice friend who could treat me. XD. I sure hope this time I don't get disappointed with it the same way I got disappointed with movie adaptations 3 through 5.

11. My Own TV
This is totally a dream that I know will never ever come true but what the heck. Haha. I hate having to argue with what channel to watch all the time.

12. LAPTOP
My dream for so long has still not materialized. :((

13. Room Aircon
Another big dream that may never come true. Haha. It would just be so 'cool' to have it in my room. :D

14. Car + Drivers' License
I know this can happen but probably in the very far away future. I really want to learn how to drive and I reckon Mommy will have no worries as long as I'm 18 years old. Haha. I'm actually thinking whether or not I should give up the debut they want for me for my own car. Wheeeeee. Xp

WAAAAAAAAAIT!

I promised myself I would only use the PC until 9pm. I checked the computer clock and it's already 9;25! I got a bit carried away there, didn't I? Oh well. I've run out of things to enumerate anyway. I guess I could have a Part Two of this Pleasure Post.

Bye~

P.S. UPM: Classes have been moved to June15. XD