NOTHING IS FAIR

You (whoever is still reading) will notice that I seldom post entries. It must be the sched. It must be the exams. Then again it may also be the laziness. :))

But here I am anyway. It must be the sched. It must be the free time. Then again it may also be this incessant urge to remember, to commemorate.

What is there to remember? Check the date.

Don't know what I'm talking about? Well, that doesn't matter. It's not worth knowing anymore. In the first place, it doesn't exist. It's only worth remembering on my part. I'm like a little kid, reading an old book, reliving the days when Dodos were still alive. Yes, a mere discovery of what is extinct.

This post is similar to two of my previous posts, both expressing a desire to release emotions.

Today, I am supposed to be happy. Three years is no laughing matter. Three may still be a single digit, but that equates to 36 months of being together with one person. In this age of short attention spans and fickle emotions, that time is a doozy -- well, a doozy of happiness, that is.

You would think I would be celebrating right now. You would think I would be downright happy.
Sad to say, I'm not. I am at the far end of the spectrum.

The thing about those three years is that they are meaningless now. Sure, today may have been one of the best days of my life, and maybe for another person's. But that was the stupid past. Today is another story.

Anyway, today meant something else to me. It was no ordinary Tuesday. I have no idea why I feel a need to commemorate an obviously stupid date, but I do.

I saved the date on my phone's calendar.
I took time to decide on what to wear for today. Something that would signify the meaning of today. (I opted for my black Sci Camp 06 shirt, go figure)
Whenever I would write the date in my notebook, I would affix this: :c

Funny thing is, it seems the rest of the world was commemorating.

I thought about the date all day, and this is what happened in Soc Sci:

Prof: Kayo mga girls, kung yung friend niyo, parang kapatid niyo na, may boyfriend, tapos yung boyfriend may gusto sayo, tapos ikaw medyo bumibigay ka rin, itutuloy mo ba?
Me: Hindi po, masakit po yun pag ikaw yung girlfriend.
Prof: All is fair in love. Di pa naman kasal eh.

:((

Yan ang highlight of the day.

Nothing happened today anyway. Ordinary day if I say so myself. But to me the whole world was different, just because the number on the calendar read 10-13-09.

I don't want to say anything else. Happy birthdya na lang.

Oh, and here's my stat message in ym:

"3 years since my forever. 14 months ago it was over.
Tell me, how do you celebrate love with a broken heart?"

NEW SONG

Posted a new BGM. I really like this song and the story attache dto it. It's from the Koreanovela Spring Waltz. I admit that I am no fan of Asianovelas, but this one is just too beautiful to ignore. I remember seeing it on T.V. when I had nothing to do, can't remember when though. The trouble is, I lost time to follow it religiously. Then, while waiting for Mythbusters to start, I stumbled upon Studio23 and to my surprise, they were showing it, right at the part that I last saw.

Disclaimer: The owner of this blog has no connection with any part of the production of the song nor the Koreanovela mentioned.

Amazing, huh? Anyway, I still was not able to follow it the way a fangirl should. Haha. I only got to watch it during Wednesdays (days-off) and Saturdays (when my mind is focused on Mythbusters). But I wa sstill able to catch up on the story and feel those "kilig moments." One thing I do regret is that I was never able to see the ending, which according to many sites, was very touching. Too bad nobody's updated wiki on the ending. :)

So, here's the song, enjoy. :)

One Love – Acel Bisa

Higher than the sky above you
Clearer than blue
Brighter than the rays of sunshine
Warmer than what you feel
More than all the wonders you see
It’s the most wonderful thing

Brighter than the living colors of flowers you see
Sweeter than the touch of water
Flowing from the mountain spring
More than all the wonders you see
It’s the most wonderful thing

One love…
I love you so
Love is the beautiful one
I love you so
Love is the beautiful one
All we need is love
Real love

Marvel at the sight of greenfields
Amazingly seen
Watch the colors of the rainbow
It’s a miracle you see
More than all the wonders can be
But there’s more than that

One Love…
I love you so
Love is the beautiful one

Greater than what you can feel
More than what you ever dreamed
This is better than your everything
One love…

I love you so
Love is the beautiful one

All we need is love
One love

Bad Monday

I'm in for a hellish week and I've been through a stupid day, so I might as well be kind to myself for at least thirty minutes and release all the negative energy through this blog.

I had such a devastating (okay I'm exaggerating) day. Aside from the fact that I got up on the wrong side of the bed, I also had to endure an hour standing on the bus this morning. I was freaking exhausted and terribly wanted some shut-eye but I just couldn't get it.

By the time I was in school, I started entering into one of my bad moods. I don't know why I'm getting terribly moody these days. I don't know if it's the weather, the exhaustion, or the tremendous Masci memories I encounter. I have been missing Masci badly recently. I know it's ironic since five of my batchmates are Mascians, but somehow I miss Masci itself.

The whole idea of being a Mascian has always been a part of my life, and although the school is just across the street, I feel like I've been detached from it. I miss lining up before the morning assembly.I miss frantically studying in line. I miss seeing Mang Danny sweep some leaves. I miss Kuya Felix asking where Balasubas is. I miss buying load from Ate Canteen. I miss waiting in line for Kuya Xerox. I miss Carbonara moments. I miss writing excuse letters and having teachers sign them. I miss organizing school activities and watching your plans come to life. I miss our Pangkatang Gawain. I miss reading El Fili. I miss palitaw! I miss going to places because of activities. I miss being an Out of School Youth. I miss Parlia moments. I miss stressful days in the media room. I miss setting up the multimedia room. I miss announcing on stage. I miss talking to teachers. I used to be criticized for being so chummy to teachers. I wouldn't be surprised if others thought I was being the teacher's pet or something. Honestly, being friends with teachers has nothing to do with my aspiration to do my best. I don't know why, but I always have a certain affinity to people older than I am. I like talking to them about their jobs. I've always tried being friends with teachers, janitors, security guards, anyone who I encounter everyday. I just feel like I could always get a piece of wisdom from them, and I always do. It must also be because I never really had a lot of friends my age when I was little. Mommy and Dad always took me to their social functions, parties and gatherings. The kind of interaction I got exposed to was with the colleagues of my parents.

Moving on, I've been missing Masci terribly as you can see. Yes, I know I don't really have the right to complain since I practically see Mascians everyday. I just realized that Masci truly has been a huge part of my life. The last time school affected me this much was when I was under Mr. Dizon, my favorite teacher of all time.

Anyway, enough of the trip to memory lane. Let's go back to my stupid day.

I went to the library and did my N1 notes. I figured a cool environment would calm me down. I was there for 3 hours. After my library trip, I tried contacting Block26 about the Kanlungan script. It turns out they already submitted it. Unluckily though, I didn't know. Haha. I also happened to come across Ma'am Villarta. While waiting for a reply, I decided to eat my lunch. I bought my favorite viand - chicken barbecue. I figured since I was having a bad day I might as well compensate by eating. Since I was alone, I chose a table at the CN Tambayan and prepared to enjoy my meal. As I was about to start eating, one of the many cats of UP-Manila came up to me and started meowing at me like crazy. From what I've gathered, she was asking, no, threatening me for the my food. I thought I could just shoo the cat away, but it kept on pestering me like it was my inherent duty to feed it. I tried switching tables, but it kept on following me. It started looking creepy too. Its eyes were only slits and it looked like it was going to attack me. It didn't help that I have always had this dislike for cats. I probably looked stupid there talking to a cat in a freaked-out tone. I finally gave up anyway and just left my lunch on the table. Needless to say, the cat feasted on my Php60.00 lunch. Pfft. It's like my allowance is for feeding cats. Puh-lease. Di ako pinalaki ng nanay ko para magpakain ng pusa.

I was so irritated, both at myself and at the cat. I hate myself for allowing myself to be harassed by a cat, but I hate the cat all the more for being so greedy as to threaten me for my food. Curses.

Because of that experience, I swear I'll never eat in the CN Tambayan ever again. I also declare my new found hatred-slash-phobia for felines. Back then, my disliking of cats was nothing more than pointing out their bad sides. The dislike was only limited to me preferring dogs over cats. Now, it's different. Garfield and all his friends are now my enemies.

To make myself feel better, I had Claude accompany me to submit our Kanlungan script.

Since I had to eat, I went to Rob with Block26. I so wanted to try the new meal at Jollibee, but since I lost 60pesos, I had to settle for the Double Delight Pizza from Pizza Hut. Thank God Cheese&Bacon was available.

It's also good to know the cat didn't snatch my bottled water.

And so, the rest of my afternoon was pretty dismal for me. I did minimal socialization. A lot of people could tell that my aura was different today. I let DJ go home earlier. I really didn't want to send her away like that. It's just that I was having such a bad day. I guess it wouldn't have helped if I came along with her, else she would be the poor victim of my negative vibes.

Upon arriving at Lawton, I decided to compensate for my bad day with my favorite Belgian Chocolate waffles, but then another irritating encounter - the lady directly before me ordered 2 boxes of waffles. The order took so long that by the time I was ready to board a bus, the line was relatively long.

There. Now I'm off to face the remnants of my terrible day. Wish me luck. I hope things don't get any worse.

Bandwagon

Whoaaaaahh. This is me, posting an entry? Oh c'mon. This cannot be happening. Haha.

Actually, I was just inspired by the fellow bloggers Joyce and Isay. They all had posts today. Call me a gaya-gaya and all, I don't mind. XD

I also checked out my previous blog (a.k.a. vaindolphin.blogspot.com) yesterday. I was quite the blogger before. Haha. However I do not intend this post to be long. I just want to make an update. So maybe I am a gaya-gaya. Haha. Whatever.

Don't get me wrong though. My posting does not reflect upon my free time. I am not even sure if such a thing as free time exists. Haha. I have a departmental exam to worry about and that alone is giving me the creeps.

Blogs are always about what happened, what you experienced, etc. Today I am going to write about what I will be doing for the rest of the night. It helps when your work is properly organized so here goes:

- NSTP learning journal
- Ask Sir Laufred if we would still have our long test on Friday
-Work on NSTP scripts
-Re-read outlining for Comm
-MATH.

That's about it I guess.

Now let me tell you about some eccentric (well, at least to myself) wishes I have been having lately. I may not be able to remember them all, but I don't really care :))

-Meet the Mythbusters
I thought my obsession would subside when school begins, but no. This is an obsession that suddenly makes me want to be home all the time just so I could watch the show. Lately I've been sharing this tremendous passion with fellow Mythbyusters fans. Also, my obsession for Grant Imahara also has not subsided either. I still consider him as one good example of the kind of guy I would want to marry. Haha. He just has almost everything I have always been looking for - the brains, the skills, the charisma, and not to mention the looks. Haha. I am not really a sucker for the most good-looking guys in the world. Somehow I find some people cute and others think I am crazy. I have no idea why I have such notions about what is handsome and what is not, but whatever that is, Grant is just my perfect mixture. Haha. I even fantasize about actually being with them, being on the show. It's a wild, wild dream, and I don not care at all. :))

Hayy. I said I would make a list, but laziness has overcome me once again. It seems the adrenaline rush from talking about Mythbusters used up all of my typing energy. If only I could just drone about them. Haha. Anyway, I need to get cracking anyway. :D

Maybe some other time. :)

One Year

Happy birthday Sir Manuel.
Belated Happy Birthday Ace.

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I am about to begin studying for this week's activities. Although I do not have any upcoming exams marked on the calendar, UP life so far has taught me to always be prepared. However, just like in my previous post, I could not contain the urge to reflect today.

To many people, August 16 could mean nothing special. To others it could signify their birthday, their anniversary, their first baby and others. It is different for each person.

To me, August 16 is a day of troubled emotions, excruciating pain, treacherous illusions, shattered hope, broken memories... I could enumerate every metaphor available in my vocabulary, but to my opinion it would still not suffice for what I experienced on that day. Thankfully, I do not harbor all those emotions in the same magnitude today. But still, it is worth recounting how that day turned out, and worth contemplating on how I have been since that day.

Mind you, I still remember what happened that day.

I was to attend a seminar sponsored by the Rotary Club of Manila. As usual, I came to school earlier than expected. My world was a blur that week. Most times I hardly knew what I was doing. That was one of those moments. I reached for the cellphone inside my pocket and texted, pleading for a conversation.

The conversation progressed, and somehow I foolishly imagined light at the far end of it. My classmates who happened to browse through my inbox thought so too.

Attending the seminar was almost a waste of time on my part. Honestly, I tried concentrating on the speaker, but my mind just would not stay put. It fled to my textmate, my problems, my worries and fears. I continued engaging in an SMS conversation. I was a fairly frequent, not to mention fast, text messenger at that time, so every time there was a reply, another message would follow.

However, at one point, my thumb found it hard to encode the next lines.

When I consulted my mind, it had no idea what to say either.

I asked my heart, but I could not understand it. It seems it was too busy crying.

Flashed on my phone's LCD was a message I never imagined to receive from the messenger. They were a mere four words (Well, in text vocabulary of course), but they destroyed a multitude of arguments that I held on to for so long. It is astonishing how a few words could be so powerful.

Painful as it was, I continued the conversation. I learned a few more details that made things even harder to bear.

Somewhere along the way the seminar ended. Well, it actually ended for lunch break, but we left anyway. When I joined my schoolmates, I could not help but reach for an embrace and just let the teardrops fall. I am no crybaby. I hardly cry at all. I only cry for the most heartbreaking moments, moments when the human mind no longer has the ability to alleviate the suffering. Well, obviously, this was one of those moments.

Naturally, they were all shocked as I relayed what had happened. I could still remember how I cried in the comfort room, while they were all trying to comfort me with their words, saying I deserved more than that. They kept on comforting me as we rode back to Taft Avenue from Makati. It is funny, the four words contained in that text message created a whirlpool of devastation, and yet the kind and comforting paragraphs of my companions hardly made me smile.

But to this day, I thank the persons who were with me on that day, for catching me when I received the first blow, for wiping my tears when they first dropped. In the event I was alone in those moments, I know things would not have been the same.

We went to KFC. Seeing my depression, Oliver offered to buy me something. I appreciated all of them for being so kind to me. They knew what I knew, that I should just forget about it all, that I would get along just fine, but still they empathized with me, sensing the pain I was going through.

---------------------

That was not the end of the day. I know for certain what else happened, but it just does not feel right to reiterate the rest. Now is not the time.

What happened after August 16 was a series of struggle, anger, depression, disbelief, useless hope...

How did I get through?

I guess I should save that part for another post.

Right now, I just want to share some lines from a song... This song seems to echo everything that happened...

James Morrison, Broken Strings

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything
That you're heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you someting that ain't real

Running back through the fire, when there's nothing left to save
It's like chasing the very last train, when we both know it's too late...

Of Forkroads and What Ifs

My blog screams for updates. My worn-out body aches for a detoxification. My pierced soul cries for an outlet. I do not really care whether I become offensively explicit or overly frank here. No one reads this blog anyway.

Funny that I should decide to make an entry on this momentous date. To be honest, I still have a load of work that needs accomplishing, but I could not resist the urge to post something. I could have posted on any other day, yet I want to make this day memorable, make it immortalized as a date that will forever remind me of my past. With fifteen minutes left to spare, I better make it quick.

Various points in our life will show a multitude of uncertainty. Particularly, we are often faced with the never-ending question of "What if?" At one time or another, we will be forced to make choices. It may be as simple as choosing what color to wear, what meal to eat, what book to read and the like. Inevitably, life will be full of decisions.

Look back on one forkroad of your life. What if you chose the other path?

Last year, on this date, roughly 4 four hours ago, I was met with an indefinite statement. Well, it started indefinitely at least. It began with an uncertain feeling that developed into conviction. That was the day that every single entity that I had known for so long shattered into pieces and resolved itself in the realm of oblivion; that was the day I felt my heart squeeze itself, as if wanted to dissolve into nothingness as well; that day, I was told of the Tale of Two Birds.

At that specific moment, I realized I was never sure of anything at all, and yet I refused to believe it. I wanted to believe that amidst all the uncertainty in the world, I could hold on to that one fact that I believed would forevermore keep me alive. But that night, my certainty began to shake; eventually it fell, and when it did, it pulled down everything else in my life.

I am very well aware of what that uncertainty led to, but I was just wondering, what if events did not transpire as they did? What if a different choice was made? Would I have been any happier? Would I still be here where I am? Would I still be sure of that one entity? This si the trouble with "what ifs" - you will never be able to know the answer.

Well, at least there's one thing I am certain of. If that moment did not occur, or if life had gone the other way, I would not be typing this insanely emotional and disgusting post.

I am glad God still loves me. (Oh, that's another certainty)

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Happy Birthday Sharky,

Hurray for College!

Ta-daaaaaa! I have returned after not posting anything for so long. Haha.

So, COLLEGE NA AKO. Yeay. Haha. It is still a little hard to believe since I still feel like I'm a little lost and disoriented kid. Haha. Obviously, it would take a lot of time and painstaking to remember everything that happened from the first day. So I'll be generalizing. Haha.

Ano susuotin ko?
This is normally the first big question I ask myself everyday. Haha. OA much? I don't know. I used to be only grade conscious and hair-conscious. Ever since I stopped wearing uniforms, I'm getting dress-conscious as well. I know people won't really notice what I wear everyday. Anyhow, I like to look good still.

My blockmates have decided to impose a "color of the day" thing. This is gonna help me a lot. :)

FX facts
Just like last year, I h still hitch a ride on Kuya Jobert's FX on the way to school. The trouble is, I have to get off at Pedro Gil now. I can't simply walk from Kalaw to Pedro Gil anymore (although that would be splendid exercise :D ). So my mom talked to Kuya Jobert. Now, he re-routes his FX just to get me right in front of UP-CN, for a little added fare, though.

7-eleven Series
Since I get to Manila one hour before my classes actually starts, I stay at 7-eleven across the street. I use the one hour to comb my hair, powder my face, read a bit, and buy a bottle of water just so I don't have to look like I did something for the store. Haha. This is also where I meet up with my friends before class. Before, it was just me, Bez (Mark), Dencio (DJ) and Tatay (Vincent), but recently, Ace and Kevin have been there too. Yeay. Happy life. May the guard never hate us or send us out. ;))

Attention Span Alert
In HIgh School, I only need to endure a subject for one hour. In college, it's a big challenge for me to wake myself up and start listening again. I've read that the human attention span can only last around twenty minutes, so I have to keep on renewing that once I realize my mind is drifting off. My shortest class is one and a half hour. Oh well. Just needs a little getting used to I guess.

Saan ako kakain?
I could have stuck to bringing lunch, but no. My mom thinks I should start buying food now and somehow learn to budget the allowance. I realize with restaurants scattered around UP plus the heft treasure still in Rob-Manila, that task is kinda hard. I have to consider myself lucky that our breaks are relatively long. :)

Part one muna yan. Tinatamad na ako eh. Haha. And I have a quiz in N1 tomorrow. I also have to start reading that Algebra Module. :)

Pre-college jitters

Love is like a diamond; it takes years of pressure, pain and sacrifice to transform it into its greatest. However, just like a diamond, one love can only be destroyed...by another one.

-----

Wheee. I'm actually college by tomorrow. Haha. I thought I'd mke this post just before college so that I can savor the time that I'm still free and equipped with the luxury of time.

Haha. Actually, yun lang naman sasabihin ko. Ang ewan ko noh? Haha.

Sorry for wasting your time. (Though I really don't know if anyone is reading this. Haha.)

Kanta tayooooo...

Before anything else....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TITO BOY VISARRA MASAMAYOR! :DDDDDDDD

Yeay! Andaming may birthday.

Now, let's move on to more random/irrelevant matters in my life. Haha.

I want to start a blog series! Not the story kind though, the SONG kind. :]]

Okayy. So for these series of posts, I will be posting songs (around 5, I guess) and highlighting or indenting the parts that have a direct connection to my oh so wonderful life. Haha.

Disclaimer: This is in no particular order, if you know what I mean.

Track no. 1:

First up, this used to be my favorite song by Christian Bautista. Very close people will know exactly why.

Disclaimer: I typed this song myself. No copy-pasta method here.

COLOR EVERYWHERE
Christian Bautista

Used to seeing black and white
Never really in between
Waiting on the love of my life
To come into my dreams

Everything is shades of grey
Never really blues or greens
Needed someone else to turn to
Someone who could help me learn to see

All the beauty that was waiting for me...

CHORUS
You...
You put the blue back in the sky
You put the rainbow in my eyes
A silver lining in prayers and now
There's COLOR everywhere
You put the red back in the rules
Just when I needed it the most
You came along to show you care and now
There's COLOR everywhere

Everywhere...

My life is so predictable
Never any mystery
But ever since you shined the light
All of that was history

Now I have a hand to hold
And a reason to believe
There's someone in my life worth living for
I was hanging around just wishing on a star

To put the happiness back in my heart and..

*CHORUS

Oh yeah...
You care and now there's color everywhere..

Left those hazy days behind me
Never to return again
Now they're just a fading memory
Because baby it's all so clear to see
The beauty that is waiting there for me

*CHORUS

A silver lining in my prayers and now
There's COLOR everywhere.
You came along to show you care and now, there's color everywhere.

Track no. 2:

Now here's the current bgm of this blog. Haha. I know in one of my previous posts, I gave out three different songs. Haha. At ngayon ibang-iba na. I was online one day and in the mood for some soundtripping. Knowing that my internet takes forever to load I just played random songs from the folder my cousin downloaded in the computer. I stumbled across this song and...poof! I don't know what happened to me, but next thing I knew I was asking Isay how to add music to my blog and here it is now. I can't really explain why I loved it. Maybe because it well...it had all the right words, words I was never able to utter, words I still want to say...

OVER YOU
Chris Daughtry

Now that it’s all said and done,
I can’t believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

*CHORUS:

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should’ve started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I’d doubt you,
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I’m slowly getting closure.
I guess it’s really over.
I’m finally getting better.
And now I’m picking up the pieces.
I’m spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

*CHORUS:

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should’ve started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I’d doubt you,
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should’ve started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I’d doubt you,
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I’m slowly getting closure.
I guess it’s really over.
I’m finally getting better.
And now I’m picking up the pieces.
I’m spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Putting my heart back together.
Well I’m Putting my heart back together.
‘Cause I got over you..
Well I got over you..
I got over you.
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through,
I got over you.

Haha. Ano ba 'to. Puro blue. Sorry, I kinda overdid the emphasizing. Like I said, it had all the right words.

Track no. 3:

This isn't a new song that I've discovered. I've known this for a long time. Something about it struck me immediately the first time I heard it. Foreshadowing? Haha.

INCOMPLETE
Backstreet Boys

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can’t find no rest
Where I’m going is anybody’s guess

*CHORUS

I tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It’s written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

*CHORUS

I don’t mean to drag it on, but I can’t seem to let you go
I don’t wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)

*CHORUS

incomplete

Track no. 4:

Now THIS is a new song. Haha. I first saw it on Nickelodeon on Nickbeats. I didn't even have the faintest idea what Dvaid Archuleta looked like at that time. I like the song as well as the video. Very well thought of.

A LITTLE TOO NOT OVER YOU
David Archuleta

It never crossed my mind at all
That’s what i tell myself
What we had has come and gone
You’re better off with someone else
It’s for the best, i know it is
But i see you
Sometimes i try to hide
What i feel inside

And i turn around
You’re with him now
I just can’t figure it out

*CHORUS

Tell me why
You’re so hard to forget
Don’t remind me
I’m not over it
Tell me why
I can’t seem to face the truth
I’m just a little too not over you
(eh eh eh oh eh eh eh)
Not over you
(eh eh eh oh eh eh eh)

Memories
Supposed to fade
What’s wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go
Didn’t think it be this hard
Should be strong
Moving on
But i see you
Sometimes i try to hide
What i feel inside

And i turn around
You’re with him now
I just can’t figure it out

*CHORUS

Maybe i regret
Everything i said
No way to take it all back, yeah
Now i’m on my own
How i let you go
I’ll never understand
I’ll never understand
Yeah, oooh, oooh, oooh
Oooooooh
Oh
Ooooh, oh

*CHORUS

*CHORUS

Track no. 5:

LAST NA! Haha. This is a relatively old song. The first time I heard it was on my way to school during elementary. I even remember the DJ explaining the meaning of the title. Haha. Never thought this beautiful, short-titled song would become a huge part of my life. Right now, I'm listening and absorbing every word of this song...probably for the very last time.

214
Rivermaya

Am I real?
Do the words I speak before you
Make you feel
That the love I have for you
Will see no ending?

Well, if you look into my eyes
Then you should know
That you have nothing here to doubt
Nothing to fear
And you can lay your questions down
‘Cause if you’ll hold me
We can fade into the night
And you’ll know

The world could die
And everything may lie
Still you shouldn’t cry
‘Cause time may pass
But longer than it’ll last
I’ll be by your side

Take my hand
And gently close your eyes
So you could understand
That there’s no greater love tonight
Than what I’ve for you
Well, if you feel the same way for me
Then let go

We can journey to a garden no one knows
Life is short, my darling
Tell me that you love me

So we can fade into the night
And you’ll know
The world could die
And everything may lie
But you won’t cry
‘Cause time may pass
And everything won’t last
But I’ll be by your side
Forever by your side
So you won’t cry

--------------

Yeay! Tapos na. Haha.

I've finally finished this outrageous post. Haha.

PM me for questions? Haha.

Birthday Bonanza

Yeaaaaaayyyy.

Andaming may birthday! Haha.

One, two, three and....

Belated Happy Birthday OLIVER LORENZO FERRANCULLO FELISILDA! (June 3)
Miss na kita! Bumalik ka na. Haha.

Belated Happy Birthday Kuya RAYMOND ANTHONY MASAMAYOR RELOVA a.k.a. KUYA RYAN! (June 6)
I miss you so much Kuya! Hope to see you soon. :)

Happy Birthday ARVIEL VELASQUEZ DELA CRUZ! (June 7)
Miss na kita! Libre mo ako!

and of course...

Happy Birthday EMMANUEL ROBERTO VISARRA MASAMAYOR a.k.a. Dad! (June 7)
You don't know how much I want to see you right now. I really, really miss you. I love you, Dad.

I feel like making a blog tribute. Haha.

Hulaan niyo para kanino?

EMMANUEL ROBERTO VISARRA MASAMAYOR
My father. My guide. My REAL first love.

It isn't a secret to many that this great man, my biological father, died when I was five years old. By that time, I was not yet capable of grasping the fact that I lost a father. People tell me that I was even playing around, smiling for pictures. It wasn't until I grew old enough that it finally hit me: Dad's gone, and he's not coming back.

Throughout the course of my life, throughout the 12 years I've lived without him, people have been telling me a lot about him, and each time they tell me, I can't help but wish he lived long enough for me to realize how great a man I have for a father.

Dad was a priest. He said mass for one year, however learned that he really didn't find his calling in being a priest. He got out of the priesthood. Mommy even says there's a copy of a kind of permission notice by Pope John Paul II. She says it's lying somewhere around here. I haven't seen it yet, though,

Dad managed to land a job as advertising manager for WG&A Shipping Lines. This is where he met my mom. And the rest, well, let's just say I was officially introduced into the world. XD

They say I acquired my Dad's eyes, brown and round, as well as his nose, and well, his height. Haha. Mnay people comment that I'm a perfect morph of my parents.

Dad was a very quiet person from what I've gathered from my five-year experience with him. I hate to admit it but I don't really remember his voice that much. However, despite the apparent silence, he had a great many friends. The funeral was jam-packed with loving relatives and friends. A lot of people think he's prone to anger, when in truth he really isn't. He had a lot of friends because he was a really good friend himself. That's one lesson I'll be carrying for the rest of my life.

He was also a terrific boss. Many of his past officemates say that he wasn't the kind of person who would go ballistic over the simplest mistake or fire people out of nowhere. No. He was the kind who would calmly correct people without leaving them with the feeling of intense embarrassment. He was also exceptionally kind to all our household help that time. He would even give them money to watch a movie on their days off.

Dad was also a guitar-player. Sometimes I wish he would teach me how to play. He was also a very wide reader. His collection of books remains here at home. I've always planned on reading the books he read but I never quite got to doing that, but his collection is more than enough for me to believe that he really was fond of reading.

Dad was quite the writer. Many people describe his writing as spontaneous, lively and well, beautiful. I used to nod at this in amazement of how wonderful a writer he must be for people to say such good things about his style of writing. Very recently though, I was able to feast my eyes on tangible proof of his greatness. It turns out Mommy compiled all the letters that Dad sent her. Cellular phones hardly existed before and people mostly used pagers and beepers. Since the nature of Dad's work had him away from home at times, he wrote letters to Mommy. He was a very detailed writer, from what I have gathered. He wrote every single detail of his travels in pure English. He even talked about he felt bad when his favorite PBA team lost. I didn't have the time to read all the letters, but among them was the epilogue he had written for his own mother's funeral. It was a lovely account of how his mother lived. Dad really was a great writer. "Myth confirmed" Disclaimer: I am watching Mythbusters videos on Youtube as I write.

Speaking of PBA, Dad was an ultimate fan of basketball. I remember the times he used to take all of us to Cuneta Astrodome to watch the games. I remember nights when it would be just the two of us in the room. It was either we were watching Disney movies, comedy sitcoms or basketball games. When he was in the seminary, short as he was, he was the coach of theri basketball team.

As I mentioned earlier, he was an advertising manager. He was in charge of all those designs and stuff for the company, and my was he good at it. He created such lovely designs for T-shirts, mugs, logos and the like. Photoshop didn't really exist that time so he used Adobe Pagemaker and at home, his pen and paper. I used to watch him do his designs. He is incredible. His left hand just simply swoops over paper and creates drawings just like that. One reason I love dolphins is that I often recall watching Dad draw dolphins to create logos for the company. Dad was, in fact, the person who taught me how to draw, and I'm starting to regret not carrying on with this passion that we used to share.

But what most people hardly fail to say (and I don't think it's just because they're talking to me) is that Dad had one weakness: Me. A lot of people always tell me how much my father loved me. My parents almost lost me once. Mommy bled once during her pregnancy. That could have been the end of me. Ever since I came into this world, Dad did all he could to show how much he loved me. He would give me all the best. Ever since I was born, I was always included in Dad's letters to Mommy. He made sure I had great clothes, great toys, great everything. I had a full closet of clother, an Imelda-like array of shoes and a room cluttered with my toys or at least, remnants of them. His usually slow-to-anger nature would be crippled if he found out anything happened to me. He made sure everyone in the house spoke English so I would get used to the language. He would be afraid of the slightest scars and even birthmarks that I used to have because he thought I wouldn't be "Ms. Universe" anymore (something I always laugh about these days.) When he would go out of the country, he would buy me toys. Mommy recalls of the time that he carried a really big Donald Duck stuffed toy on the plane like a little kid. To this day, Donald Duck is still here.

Sad to say, I wasn't really the most appreciative daughter in the world back then. My father's constant love kind of spoiled me one way or another. Even I sometimes can't believe how bad a girl I was. There would be times that he would buy me toys I wouldn't like and I would be steaming mad, slamming doors, throwing stuff around, throwing a tantrum in short. Surprisingly, Dad revealed in one of his letters that my tantrums were one of the things he missed about me. I also would not appreciate clothes or shoes. Being a kid and all, all I cared about was toys. I'm sure I hurt my father's feelings a couple of times with these antics of mine.

Dad had a lot of health problems, too. By the time Mommy met him, he already experienced mild strokes. He had diabetes, hypertension, and all the other complications that came with it. Dad was hospitalized September of 1997. Being the kid that I was, I hardly noticed how serious that was. We played in the hospital. I would act like a Queen and Dad would be the King.

I still remember the day Dad collapsed, was brought to the ICU, and eventually died on the 4th of October, 1997. I was in a blue dress that time, the same dress I had worn for my 5th birthday. We had chicken for lunch. For some reason I was having one of my tantrums, and Mommy was scolding me. Dad said that I should not be scolded, since I was only a child.

I went to the bathroom when I suddenly heard Mommy scream and drop a tray of utensils. Next thing I knew I was staring at doctors and nurses rushing back and forth into the room.

Like I said, Dad died, and I hardly realized that.

After he died, Mommy and I would sometimes pretend we could call him in heaven using my toy telephone. We would take turns talking to him on the phone that time. That was fun, even if it was all make-believe. I'd like to try that again sometime.

It's a known fact that one of my favorite movies is The Lion King. Everyone says that every time the cartoon gets to the part when Mufasa dies, I cry. I used to think this happened after Dad's death, which would explain such action as some kind of psychological outlet. But I just found out that all this crying about Mufasa started before Dad's death, meaning ever since I started watching it on tape, I would cry whenever Simba found Mufasa dead. This struck me as some kind of foreshadowing that's often employed in literature. I never thought it could ever be true.

Today, Dad is supposed to be 61 years old. I sometimes think about what life would be like if Dad was still here. He would have played basketball with me. He would have taught me how to draw like he did. He would have taught me how to play the guitar. He could have been the one who attended my graduation. He could have helped me work on my speech and practice it with me. He would have been the first to read the draft. He would have watched all my school presentations. He would have videotaped every single one, photographed every slight movement I would make. He would watch movies with me and recommend books to me.

But I know he's just somewhere there. I know he'll never stop watching over me. He always has. It was hard when I realized I lost Dad, but everything happens for a reason we cannot comprehend at the moment. I still miss Dad, but I wouldn't have had things turn out any other way. I'm happy where I am now.

I'm happy to have a mom who braved time and distance to make ends meet.

I'm happy to have a stepfather who loves me like his own, never mistreating me in any way.

I'm happy to have a stepbrother who taught me that not all people are like me, and I have to learn how to live with that. If it wasn't for Gerald, I would never have learned to cope with different types of personalities. I'll always love him for that, no matter how many short fights we get into.

I'm happy to have a Dad who'll always watch over me even if I can't see him. He's always been there, I know that. I feel that.

And I'm happy that I have a God who constructed my life so beautifully, giving me blessings I don't even think I deserve, giving me trials and heartaches whenever I need them, never giving them to me without a specific purpose. :D

The Lord wants this for me. And I trust Him.

------

Dad, thanks for always being there for me. I'm sorry if I was not the perfect daughter that you deserved when you were still alive. I'm glad I have a father like you, not just because you can do a lot of things and people say good things about you. Above all that, I'm happy because you love me so much. It feels so good knowing someone loves you that much. I want to give you a hug, a kiss and tell you how much I love you too. I hope I grow up to be the daughter you can be proud of, to fulfill the dream you always had for me - well, minus the Ms. Universe part, of course. Haha. I love you Dad. Happy birthday. :D

Pleasure Post. Haha.

Hey hey hey!

Since summer is almost officially about to end, I want to make the most out of it by blogging regularly. Haha. You may think all I'm not posting anything relevant to society but I guess I'm entitled to my own idea of fun once in a while, right?

Haha. This is my pleasure post - pleasure because I am going to enumerate the things I want to have. In short, this is my WISH LIST. Haha. Sorry siguro wala lang talaga akong magawa. Haha. The stuff listed below are all material. I just feel like it, bakit ba. Haha.

1. David Cook Album
Okay. I've just recently began liking his music. Haha. I am so outdated. I personally like his voice very, very much. I don't know but I seem to have developed a liking for rock music. Haha. Anyway, my two personal favorites of his right now are "Come Back to Me," and "Light On." It's so frustrating that I still can't download his songs and transfer it to my phone. I'd sooooo want to have a copy of his album.

2. David Archuleta Album
Fickle much? Haha. Just like David Cook, I have also developed a liking for his music, and not to mention his looks. Haha. I don't know why, but his boy-next-door-looking-so-young-and-cute-image has really gotten to me. I fell in love with his two songs "Crush" and "Little Too Not Over You." They were both very appropriate in my personal life by the way. Haha. Last night, Carlos also recommended his song, "Let's Talk About Love." I really, really liked it. :D

*I've searched both artists so many times on Youtube.

3. Any other Music Album
I've become open to all genres! Haha. Except the really hard metal kind. Anyway, I currently am familiar with a lot more songs than I used to. And I'd love to get a hold of it in any medium! It's kind of irritating to wait for music sites and youtube to load all the time, with my very slow internet and all. Kahit i-bluetooth lang sa phone ko masaya na ako. Haha.

*I've been thinking on what bgm to use for this blog. On top of my list are If Everyone Cared by Nickelback, Light On by David Cook, Let's Talk About Love by David Archi. I'm open to suggestions. (Oh, and how do you put background music anyway? Haha. )

4. Mythbusters Merchandise
Seriously, this addiction of mine is getting crazy. Haha. I'd love to have a Mythbusters T-shirt, Mythbusters Keychain, anything that expresses my support for differentiating the real from the unreal. I'd also looooove to have Mythbusters Season DVDs. I don't know if anything I'm rattling about is even available in the Philippines, but I can always dream right? Haha.

5. UP Merchandise
I love the UP shirts! And I'm so dying to get my hands on any of them but sad to say I'm still low on funds. I don't even have an ID lace yet. Haha.

6. School stuff
Ang mahal ng mga notebook na may divider! I'd really want one of those notebooks with refillable pages. But they are soooo expensive! 150 ata mura na. Grr. And ballpens are getting insanely expensive. On the flipside though, I guess I'll be able to save since I won't need to buy around ten notebooks, pad paper, colored paper, colored pens and the like.

7. Clothes and Shoes
This is so feminine of me. Haha. This is probably due to my aunt, Mama Eden. She loves to take me shopping and she is just so 'talented' in choosing clothes and shoes. Haha. I'd also love some new shoes since UPM-CN has a strict dress code.

8. Books books books
The bookworm in me has revived itself! Haha. Although I read faster years before, I'm slowly getting back on it. I'm craving for more stuff to read. I don't have much time considering summer's about to end. Even if I don't have much time to read though, I'd love getting a book. I enjoy all genres! Haha.

9. DVDs
I have also gotten an interest in movies. Haha. There have been so many movies I haven't watched yet that I really, really want to get my hands on. Youtube just doesn't satisfy me. Haha. Even if I've also watched my share of movies, DVDs would totally brighten my day. Besides, most of the movies I have here are not in DVD format, they're in Betamax and VHS. My Dad was quite the film fanatic himself and we have a considerably large collection of them. I even have a copy of Pinocchio that's in the form of a CD that's really, really big. Uso raw yun dati. Haha. The problem is, our players for those media are busted and I can't watch my favorites anymore. By favorites I mean Lion King, Little Mermaid, Mulan etc. Haha.

10. Watch Harry Potter 6
I CRAVE to watch this in the movie house. The Harry Potter Experience is just so different that I insist on watching it in the cinema as well as getting a DVD copy of it. Haha. It comes out this July which is not very far from my birthday so I really hope I get the birthday money/have a really nice friend who could treat me. XD. I sure hope this time I don't get disappointed with it the same way I got disappointed with movie adaptations 3 through 5.

11. My Own TV
This is totally a dream that I know will never ever come true but what the heck. Haha. I hate having to argue with what channel to watch all the time.

12. LAPTOP
My dream for so long has still not materialized. :((

13. Room Aircon
Another big dream that may never come true. Haha. It would just be so 'cool' to have it in my room. :D

14. Car + Drivers' License
I know this can happen but probably in the very far away future. I really want to learn how to drive and I reckon Mommy will have no worries as long as I'm 18 years old. Haha. I'm actually thinking whether or not I should give up the debut they want for me for my own car. Wheeeeee. Xp

WAAAAAAAAAIT!

I promised myself I would only use the PC until 9pm. I checked the computer clock and it's already 9;25! I got a bit carried away there, didn't I? Oh well. I've run out of things to enumerate anyway. I guess I could have a Part Two of this Pleasure Post.

Bye~

P.S. UPM: Classes have been moved to June15. XD

Jota labs. :)

Some people say "no" when the rest of the world says "yes." But there are a handful of people who say "yes" when other people say "no."

Know anyone who fits the latter part of that?

Ako meron. Beh. Haha.

Almira Joy Perez Jota
AJ, Jota, Almyra

The name "Almira" has already been familiar to me since Second Year. I've known her as one very smart student. She was Top3 of our batch during that year. However, I have to admit, I never really got the chance to talk to her personally, not until Third Year that is. From Third Year to Fourth Year, AJ and I were classmates.

That was when I really got to know AJ.

The fact that Jota is an amazingly great person is quite an understatement. She's really, really intelligent. She has this sort of in-born intelligence. She's especially talented in Mathematics and I often went to her whenever my mind got confused seeing all those numbers. It's magnificent how she manages to come up with all those solutions. Jota also has one of the best memories I can remember. In class, she hardly needs to take down notes. It's like every word the teacher says is registered automatically in her brain.

Academics aside, AJ also is one great performer. She's an outrageous dancer, often choreographing a lot of our class presentations. Pramis. Ang galing niya sumayaw. Super galing pang umarte. She even won Best Supporting Actress during our last Drama Fest. Rinape kaya siya run! She always is willing to take one for the class. In all our class presentations, she always plays such a remarkable role. Ka-group ko nga siya sa Filipino last year. Her awesome ideas and acting just make me go "ang galing ni Jota." I do believe that without her, presentations would never be the same. She is also quite the writer. Often, her outputs are often admired for her style of writing. I've read one or two of he routputs, and I must sya they were so beautifully written. She certainly goes beyond her years.

One of the best things about Jota is that she's a fighter. She knows how to speak her mind and stand up to it. Her strong spirit just makes me admire her all the more. She was part of the Parliamentary Team-Masci last year. She also attended the summer classes that the team was required to undertake. Circumstances did not allow me to attend such, but I hear a lot about Almira's performance.

She is indeed a very talented Parliamentarian. Always willing to study and undergo the intensive training. However, her health fails her at times. AJ has a heart problem and the pressure that arose from Parlia probably triggered her sickness. They tell me that she was even brought to the hospital. I've seen her like that several times before. Naalala ko pa noong Third Year, kinabahan kami lahat dahil naghihina at naninikip na naman ang dibdib ni Jota. That was my first time to actually see something like that. Except for times like these, AJ never showed any signs of her condition. She is in fact very active and perky. I often imagined people with such conditions to always be so timid and quiet. But ever since I met her, I never had that perception again.

Despite people convincing her to quit the team due to her health, AJ never gave up. She still prodded on. She could have let go of the pressure to make things easier for her, but she still chose to come out of her comfort zone, to never give up. This is one of the greates traits about her. She is not contented in limiting herself. She doesn't let boundaries like that get in the way of what she wants to do. She more than fits the line I made up at the start of this post.

Another thing about Jota is that she is one great friend. It's no wonder she has a lot of friends all over the batch. She's the kind who speaks her mind and yet still be able to listen and listen well. She's the kind who'll always be there for you no matter what happens. She may be the youngest in our class, but her mature outlook in life translates into years of wisdom. Very few people are like AJ, and I'm glad I'm lucky enough to have her as part of my life. (Andrama!)

Jota. Super salamat sa lahat. Sa lahat ng favors, tawa, ngiti, kwentuhan at pagkakaibigan. Pareho lang naman tayong mga anak ng Taft Avenue kaya't alam kong magkikita pa tayo. Goodluck sa college. Alam kong malayo mararating mo. Ingat lagi. Tandaan mo andito lang ako. Awww. Haylabyu Jota. :D

----------

Yeay. Haha.

Sige, matulog daw ako maaga. Paalams. :D

Body Clock Alert

Good morning!
Good noon!
Good afternoon!
Good evening!
Good night!

Wheeeeeee.

I am very much sleep-deprived right now. Not because of insomnia, but rather because of my unbelievable desire to talk and talk and talk. :D

It all started last night. My cousin, Ate Madel, was reading my copy of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. She's been hooked with this personal favorite of mine and has been borrowing my copies. I'm glad that happened. It's nice to share this burning passion with my cousin. Haha.

Anyway, she was nearly done with the book so I did random stuff while waiting for her to finish. She finished the book at around 1:00AM. So we started talking about the wonders of the series. I ended up talking about most of the endings and spoilers. Haha. I just love talking about it so much. :D

So since we were done with Harry Potter and it was pretty late, we decided to sleep in my room instead of the Master's Bedroom. We turned off the lights. but somehow we just couldn't stop talking about random stuff. It was amazmingly freaky when we realized it was 5:00AM. Haha. Mama Eden caught us so we had to retreat to sleepland at 6:00AM. We got up, by force, at 11:30AM to eat lunch. Haha. I took a nap at 3:00PM this afternoon to regain my strength. Haha.

So, let me list the stuff we talked about. Well, at least those I can remember.

A Walk to Remember

This started when we commented at how Harry Potter is so much better than Twilight. We both enjoy love stories in movies, but we really don't enjoy books that have love as the central theme. We like books incorporating love however want it to be accompanied by several conflicts.

But A Walk to Remember is just a lovely exception. :DDDD

I haven't watched the movie yet. So she narrated it to me, and she is such the narrator. She puts in every single detail! Haha.

YouTube Videos
Actually, she also saw "A Walk to Remember" on Youtube. It turns out her intenret connection is so damn fast she gets to watch tons os movies as well as series on Youtube. So like the great narrator she is, she started sharing them to me.

Several of such are "Butterfly Lovers," "Picture This," "Another Cinderella Story," etc. Haha. Whatta conversation that was.

Childhood
We were supposed to retreat to sleep when we suddenly recalled our childhood full of the craziest things. Haha. It started with Disney movies. Then it evolved into Barbie dolls and what we would do with them: give names, comb their hair, cut their hair, paint their hair, etc. Haha. Then we remembered the stuff we used to do at our province in Siquijor, when we used to go there regularly. We used to fight over men! Haha, our male relatives, really. We also SERIOUSLY PLANNED to create our own movie! Imagine, 7-9 year olds planning to make a movie. We laughed our hearts out since we now realize how much money and time it takes to make a movie. We made scripts, designed costumes (which Ate Madel, SERIOUSLY planned to make herself), and even told grown-ups about our grand plan. We could just imagine how they reacted to our childish ways.

We also talked about our childhood attitudes. I was quite the maldita back then. I would slam doors, shout at elders and wanted things done my way. She even recalled of a time that she was crying and I just sat there playing, not even wondering what happened. Haha. How I changed is God's little miracle. :D

-----

We talked about a whole lot of other things but my memory escapes me. Haha.

I guess that'll be it for now. Thanks for taking the time to read this beautifully wala lang post. :p

NEW LAYOUT

As you can plainly see, I have a brand new blogspot layout.

And I love it soooooo much

This was all made possible by:

My beloved daughter
DIANA DALISAYAGUILAR OROLFO

And what do we do to people I love? XD

I've known Naknak Isay since my first year in High School. As far as my memory tells me, I met her during the Knights of Science Club Officers elections. And somehow we just hit it off as friends. Thank God for that.

There was a phase in my First Year of High School that I started forming this sort of, err, family. Haha. I started having these "sons" and "daughters" from all over the batch. And Isay is proudly one of them. :)

So ako ang kanyang Momi Ella.

Where's the father, you ask? Let's just say we're from a broken family. Haha.

Through the years, I've loved having Isay for a daughter. As anyone would know, she's a totally amazing young lady. Her pretty baby-face just captivates everyone around her. She's an explicit writer, outstanding public speaker and parliamentarian, magnificent student, responsible officer and all other nouns and adjectives you can connect to her beautiful name.

And let's not forget how great a friend she really is.

She's been there for me so many times I don't have the time to type it all here. She was there when I went through the "broken family" phase. She was there when I first learned about it, there for me to cry on. She was there when I was down in never never land and couldn't get a hold of myself. She was there when I needed someone to talk to. She was there when I wanted to talk about things I may have said already. She was there when I got up again. She was there when I started being happy again. She was there when I lost hold of myself again. All this time, she's always been there. And I know she still is.

I ranted about my pain to her so many times I must have been like a broken record player. I just never stopped, but Isay never stopped listening, anyway. And she never stopped giving me pieces of advice. I've always felt comfortable talking to her about a lot of things because I know she understands and I know I can trust her with anything.

She contemplates a lot about life and I've learned a lot of things from her. She made me realize how you can always choose to be happy and how you don't have to look for love, to name a few. She boosted my self-esteem a lot of times and always gave me the right hug at the right moment. She gives me the right wisdom when I need it. There have been countless moments when I think she's God's instrument in enlightening me. Hyess. Guardian Angel.

I've always wanted to emulate that smile she keeps on her face all the time. It must be why she still looks so young. I hope that that smile never fades away. People like her deserve to be happy. No one should be hurting her and making her cry. Sabi ko nga, kapag may umaway sa kanya kukulamin ko. Kung may balak ka, matakot ka na. Haha.

Nak, always remember that Momi will always be here for you. If you need anything, contact me. Kahit madaling araw pa yan. I'm glad we're both in the same campus. I'll be watching over you like I promised your mom. You've done so much for me and I'll try to do the same for you. I may not be perfect but I'll always love that daughter I have in you. Keep smiling, okay? I love you, nak. :D

---------------

Oo na, madrama kung madrama. Haha.

Osha, kakain na raw. Bye! :D

Random Thoughts

Hello hello hello.

Just thought I'd make an update. Haha.

Actually, nothing special has been happening lately. After last Monday, I've been confined to the house pretty much.

So, what has this "homebody" been up to?

Haha. Not much. But I'll tell you about it anyway.

For most of the summer, I have a regular TV time from 9:30pm-1:00am (reason why I hardly go nocturnally online). But over the past few days, my TV time has significantly reduced itself to one hour a day. Yeay!

And what have I been watching? MYTHBUSTERS.

Haha. I'm pretty outdated when it comes to watching this phenomenal TV series. It's been on air since about 2003 but it wa sonly last year that I began watching it. This is partly because this is the only time we actually got Discovery Channel on TV. But, it's better late than never, right?

So right. I am positively getting addicted to it. I get as much, if not more, entertainment from the show than I get from the late-night shows I used to watch. It all went to the point that when my mom called from the States, I actually asked her to look for a Mythbusters T-shirt. She does stay in California, right? Haha. Am I a fan or what?

Aside from the totally awesome mythbusting experiments they come up with (and surprisingly never run out of), the hosts themselves raise the entertainment scale about 200%. Yea, I'm exxaggerating but I don't care. Haha.

Jamie looks so intellectually cool. His beret-wearing physique shouts of years of experience and knowledge. I'd really want to shake hands with this guy.

Adam makes science the best subject in the world with his crazy antics eccentrically matched with his amazing genius. His love for blowing things up is so contagious I might just do it myself. (Yes, I am kidding)

Tori is an example of how great minds don't mean unattarctive features.

Kari is the epitome of how women can contribute as much to science as any other male specie. And you have to amdit, she is so pretty! :D

And Grant is just so cute! I've given up having TV crushes for as long as I can remember but I just can't help having a crush on this amazing electric engineer! He is the father of the R2D2 robots of Star Wars and the Deathblow robot of Battlebots, and let's not forget the Energizer bunny. :D

Oo na. Crush ko siya. Bakit ba? Haha.

I don't know why I have a thing for math geniuses and engineering wonders. People like them just make me go "wow!"

I even googled him yesterday and found his Facebook and Myspace profiles. Iba talaga ako pag nagka-crush. :D

Okayyy. If I keep going I may rant about it till eternity. So let's move on.

I have also recently rediscovered my Reader's Digest: Did You Know? Encyclopedia. It has my name on it but the handwriting indicates that it was from my father. He was always so fond of reading. It rubbed off on me, I guess. I read this a lot before, but I have neglected it ever since. I just opened it again and revived my love for the astounding facts it contains. COOL.

I've run out of things to blabber about. Till next time then. :)

I can't say I love you right now.