Blue Rainbows

Let me know if you don't care

2011-12-10T10:39:00.001-08:00

Nothing more, nothing less

Like leaves off an autumn tree

Obliterating the rest

Hold on to dear past, let go no more

Reverse your path, think again

Gamble a gamble that was never played

Shall I play again? Or should you say?

Gamble as it may, game it is not

Games invest laughter

Gamble invests the heart

Tread not on the path others wish to take

Walk the road that young knights once went

Or at least one road I hoped you'd take

Many wrongs and sorrows I've seen before

Add one and break my heart once more

Many aches, many downs, many more to come

Not one ounce I wish, not an ounce more

Tis it too late to be wrong once more?

Guilt is Irrelevant - Gregory House, MD

2011-05-17T04:16:00.000-07:00

The title is from Season 3, Episode 20 ("House Training") of my personal addiction, House MD. For those who are not familiar with the series, it's basically about an obnoxious, egoistic but amazing genius medical doctor who specializes in diagnostic medicine - basically figuring out what other doctors can't.

I watched this episode upon returning home, basically anticipating to finish the third season pretty soon. I chose to blog about this certain episode because it especially struck me. In this episode, a woman with aboulia (inability to decide) was misdiagnosed to have either an autoimmune disease or cancer - either disease involved the body attacking itself, thus requiring that the immune system be suppressed, first through steroids and then through whole body chemotherapy. Unfortunately, the treatments caused her to become septic, indicating that it wasn't autoimmune nor was it cancer. It was simply an infection, which was later discovered to be due to her bra hook that pierced through the skin and allowed the entry of bacteria. What's worse is that the bacteria was merely Staphylococcus aureus, a relatively manageable and curable disease given that antibiotics can effectively work with the body's immune system. In this case, though, the patient's immune system has been severed, and absolutely nothing can be done to reverse it.

My dream of one day becoming a doctor always involved saving patient's lives, receiving gratitude from their families, helping others, all the beautiful benefits of being in the medical field. Let's face it, one of the common denominators of this world is that we are all susceptible to disease. Every one has a health status, and only the privileged medical professionals are able to address these concerns. Therefore the magnitude of responsibility on the shoulders of these people are beyond cognition.

Medical professionals have so much in their hands that we often forget that they are human as well. But I don't blame anyone for this. After all, if the difference between life and death was greatly dependent on you, there should be no room for mistakes. This was when I realized that after all this madness is over, I would be facing a different world as a doctor. No, it's not about insecurities or low self-esteem, I know I'm bound to make a mistake. Another episode of House MD, Season 1 Episode 21 ("Three Stories"), saw House lecturing a class of medical students. He remarked that inevitably, a doctor can and will screw up, and anyone interested in being a doctor should learn to accept that fact else he shouldn't even be in the field. I'm just so afraid of how I would take that all in.

When the most guilt-trodden member of the team, Foreman, approached House, apparently asking for some form of absolution, House said the line I used as a title. True enough, there was nothing they could do, but House further remarked that they did their job the way they knew how to. How they think of diagnoses and address diseases are what make them better doctors.

I've basically seen a sneak peek of my future. I'm not saying I'm ready, but I hope I will be. Of course I wouldn't intentionally do that to a patient, but I feel that, when I'm in that position, a dying patient is almost tantamount to an evidence of murder.

On Inspiration and Writing

2011-05-15T08:06:00.000-07:00

So maybe zombies do exist. I am here, right?

Well, aside from the fact that stress has basically consumed the life out of me, my most recent post will tell you I haven't had much time for writing. True, I had been piled up with requirements from all directions, and I still thank God that He got me through that. However, admittedly, I also devoted my time to Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Formspring and whathaveyous. My passion for writing has unfortunately dwindled as I have come to write only for back-breaking requirements or have satisfied myself with typing short and oftentimes misspelled comments on social networks. No wonder I feel like a failure.

This just isn't me. It's funny. I remember the time when I only had my diary to rely on. It was plain, old-fashioned cursive handwriting with all the drawings to go with it. I even had the notion that Friendster was evil back then (Haha!). I caved in when I finally got myself an email, a Friendster account and a Yahoo! Messenger account. It was in my sophomore year of High School when Blogger got to me as well, but even that had to go through several changes (read: password forgetting) before I got to this present account. Now I've been to more sites than I can remember.

Wow. Things change.

I've changed.

Now, I enjoy going to malls, watching movies, and whatever social satisfaction there is today. All of these were taboo about 10 years ago. I had sworn myself to dorkhood and I actually enjoyed it. Not to spit on my current interests, though. I actually like the fact that I have grown to expand my horizons.

But there was a price all along. And I've only recently noticed how deep into debt I am.

I was very sheltered. Though that pretty much is boring, the good thing about that was my talents have been cultivated through that. I have a dozen of things to talk about, but let me just focus on one for now - Writing.

I've loved to write since forever. I have a collection of notebooks that hold my very own poems and often unfinished short stories. I was very much amazed at how I had written all of those. This isn't bragging. That statement stemmed from genuine regret, regret at having forgotten that talent, a talent that I had even shared with my father.

Today, however, while preparing for tomorrow's Panel Discussion, I stumbled upon Patricia Evangelista's website. I was initially only looking for a manuscript of her speech, "Blonde and Blue Eyes" but eventually I found myself in an ocean of her written works. It's not surprising since she's a public figure and a columnist to boot, but I couldn't help but think that I could do the same. I'm no celebrity but writing has always been my best avenue for releasing so many emotions. I dare say it's therapeutic for me.

I know it's kind of too late to even think of writing regularly as summer is coming to a close, but hey, this post is worth a shot. Hopefully, this newfound zeal of mine can sustain me in redefining myself as a writer. I need not be famous, I just want to be able to write. All those years not writing equal a lot of catching up to do. Again, I'm not promising a regular writing habit, but the least I can promise is that I would view writing more than just a faculty that I can depend on. Obviously, that part of me has degenerated, and I have to fix that.

Crap

2010-07-31T05:20:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted anything on this website for ages now. I haven't updated my life through this journal for as long as I can remember. But honestly I don't care. In the days when I loved cartoons and happy meals, I would have considered blogging (or back then, diary-writing) a very big deal. I would have been absolutely devastated knowing I haven't written for so long. Or maybe I am devastated, why else would I be posting? Or maybe I'm just overcome by stress. Maybe I just need a break. Then again maybe I'm losing my mind. But why would I lose my mind? Well, do I need a reason to lose my mind? Can't I just lose it? You can lose your car keys for no reason, why would the mind be any different?

Okay. I'm sure you sense by now that I'm not really fine.

Naturally, you'd be asking a reason. But like I said, do I always need a reason? Why can't I just go on with life being reasonless? Can't I just wake up one day and do things I don't have to give a reason for?

Stop. I'm sounding crazy again.

Back to reality. Yes, I am definitely not okay at the moment. It's not really because I have no reason, more so because I don't know which reason I should blame. A lot of things are bothering me right now. I'm not in the mood to enumerate them all. It's something I don't share often, and originally I would have opted not to talk about it at all, much less post it on my public journal. But the feelings are too strong at the moment, feelings I've been harboring for a long, long time but never really had the courage to share. Feelings I still believe to be ridiculed by most people. Well, I don't really care right now. Nobody reads this blog. And I want it all out. I will use no code names or aliases. This is the real deal. This is the real me.

The Date That Never Was

2010-02-14T02:12:00.000-08:00

In celebration of Single Appreciation Day (originally Valentines' day), and in tune with my much-awaited DepEx detox, I present to you this short story that I have long been contemplating on. I hope that it reaches your heart and inspires you in line with the "festivities."

**************************

********************************

Midnight. Living Room. I was browsing the channels on our TV, bored and not knowing what to do, even if I was pretty sure I was supposed to be asleep. In a few minutes I ascended the stairs and prepared to sleep. Just as I finished my prayers and unfolded my blankets, a text flashed on my phone's LCD: 1 New Message.

"Hi! Gising ka pa? Di mo naman kailangan magreply. Gusto ko lang remind yung bukas. Uhm, 10.30 ah, sa Jollibee Kalaw, ako na bahala from there. Haha. Sige, tulog mahimbing, See you. :)"

I was supposed to reply, "Di ka naman excited?" but what the hey.

*************************************************************

"Ate, Shishing na." (Gising na)

Had the above statement been replaced by the sound of an alarm or the trigger of my reticular activating system, surely I would not have gotten up. But it was hard to ignore such a cute wake-up call. It was my little cousin, Baby Dana. At two, she has an incredible ability to converse fluently beyond her years. She's been quite a chatterbox now, never lasting 30 minutes not talking. She just has to say something, even if it means asking where she is.

Anyway, it was my cousin who woke me from my slumber. I reached for my phone and discovered it was 7AM. I would have opted to get back to sleep, but my aunt remarked, "O, ligo na 'te. Ma-late ka pa."

Oo nga pala. I nearly forgot. I went to the closet and hastily chose my wardrobe. My other cousin,two months older than I am, came in and helped me out. We pulled out a skirt I wore last New Year. Realizing red would be the color of the day, we chose my black blouse. Black also lost me excess weight. :D

With bath, dress-up and powder out of the way, I descended to take my breakfast. To my delight, it was my favorite, broccoli omolette. As more of my family came for breakfast, I heard the expected teases.

"Naku, may date yan ngayon."

"Wala. It's not a date."

I quickly loaded my shoulder bag with my necessities, almost forgetting to bring my comb. My aunt stopped me on the way out. She pulled out her special perfume that she uses for special occasions. She sprayed it all over my body. My cousin arrived and declared her intent on fixing my hair. Ate Melissa is a maestro at things like these so I trusted my crowning glory to her.

I bade everyone goodbye and stepped out of our gate. I checked my watch and discovered it was 9:00 AM. I hailed a tricycle upon exiting our subdivision. When I got in, I looked directly at my reflection in the tricycle. My cousin did a good job. I had slight curls that masked my unmanageable hair and a cute clip somewhere on the side.

In no time, I was at the highway waiting for a bus. When I got on the bus. I quickly took the farthest seat at the back near the window, my favorite spot. It wasn't so crowded in the bus today, maybe because it was a Sunday. But still, I expected a lot more to be traveling. After all, it's Valentines' Day.

As soon as I paid my fare, I leaned my forehead on the window, staring at the traffic and metropolis scene on the other side. My mind began wandering, particularly on the reason I was even going to Manila today, on a Sunday, and more so, on Hearts' Day. How did it go again?

We started talking thru text. It's been a long time since I had a text mate. Before I knew it, he had met my entire family from various occasions. Next, I was surprised to get down to breakfast one morning to see him smiling in the living room. What surprised me all the more is that my family was OK with it. Apparently, he had contacted them and asked for permission. Knowing my family, that was quite an achievement.

On that visit, he asked permission to take me out today. And there I was. On the bus, on the way to meet him.

I had no idea at all what to feel. It never started like anything special, or at least I did not take it that way. I did not even notice the subtle hints he left along the way, if any. Somehow the usual kilig feelings weren't there either. I was lost in a kaleidoscope. No idea where I would go. No idea what I was doing.

Bus trips are fortunately or unfortunately quick on Sundays. At least I didn't need to wait long, but then I had to find a way to kill time. For some reason, all my past dates/pseudodates saw me always waiting for the guy. I have a tendency to become extremely early, so I always take the burden of waiting.It was still 10AM. 30 minutes to kill.

When I stepped into the fast food, I scanned the area for the least populated area and chose a seat near the window. I stared outside, expecting to see him walking towards the entrance. This was when a soft touch alarmed me from behind.

"Uy, di mo ako nakita?"

I was shocked to see him right behind me. "Andito ka na?"

"Uhmm, mga 20 minutes ago pa lang. Eto naman. Di ko nga napansin eh. Haha."

"Aga mo naman.Haha. Ano, order na tayo?"

He looked puzzled. "Hm? Hindi kaya tayo rito."

Why would he want to meet here if we weren't eating here? "Eh saan tayo maglu-lunch?" Di ba niya ako papakainin?

"Meeting place lang kasi tayo rito. Dun tayo sa may Rizal Park. Haha. Ayaw ko lang naman na maghintay ka lang sa labas, delikado na."

Na-touch at na-weirduhan ako at the same time. Haha. I followed nevertheless. As we walked, I noticed a paper bag with him but hesitated asking him what was in. I let my curiosity run wild.

We chose a spot near Lapu-Lapu. Haha. I just watched him as he unfolded a blanket, brought out tupperwares and tumblers. Picnic? An internal audience in me just had to say "Awwww."

"Oh, upo ka na." He smiled. I followed, "Grabe naman paghahanda mo. Di ko ineexpect."

"Haha. Ayoko kasi binibili lang lahat."

"Niluto mo to lahat?"

"Oo, tapos tinulungan ako ni Mama. Sabi ko kasi special day ngayon."

Skeptical, I asked, "Eh di marami na kayong napagluto ng Mama mo."

"Hindi rin. Sa pamilya siguro. Pero for my dates, this is the first time."

"Weh? Bola yan eh."

"Hindi nga. Dati kasi, like you expected, I just take my dates to restaurants and fast foods. Kita kami, order, bayad, usap. Minsan sine. Ganun lang."

"So bakit iba ngayon?"

"Ewan ko. I just feel like those things won't be enough anymore."

Ayun na naman ang internal audience.

I would have loved to narrate the conversation we had word per word. I'm usually good at memorizing conversations. But at the moment, words and memory fail me. It's either I spent too much time laughing or too much time listening. All I know was that I had a great time. He was a superb cook. His adobo, rice and mango float - all my favorites- were so delicious.

It was 12:30 PM when we finished our meal. I helped him pack up and and was prepared to leave. Ang bilis lang pala.

"Uy, thank you ngayon. Ang saya," I said, preparing to leave.

"Your welcome," was all he said, smiling. I noticed how perfect his teeth were.

"Sige, alis na ako."

"Bakit? Uwi ka na?"

"Oo, diba tapos na?"

He laughed and passed his arm around my shoulder. "Excited kang umuwi ah. May pupuntahan pa tayo.Tara. "

I followed with extreme curiosity. In a few moments. I saw a kalesa complete with a white horse. "Oh my gosh. Ang tagal ko nang di nakakasakay rito," I exclaimed with my hands cupping my face.

He helped me aboard the kalesa and continued explaining how he got Kuya Kalesa to take me out today. In a few moments, he asked me to wear a blindfold.

"Bakit?"

"Basta. Magugustuhan mo ito. Swear."

Sige na nga, I said to myself. I need not worry, anyway. I trusted him, and the dark trip wasn't that long or scary, especially when he said, "Wag ka mag-alala, kung gusto mo makita yung scenery magkakalesa pa tayo pag uwi."

Finally, he helped me remove the blindfold. "Ayan, go."

I was speechless. He took me to a place I hadn;t been to for a long time.

"Museo Pambata?"

"Ayaw mo ba?"

Of course gusto ko. Museo Pambata has been a huge part of my childhood. I was always a frequent here and it was one of my favorite places to visit with my family. I never expected him to take me here, but I was really happy he did. Excitement made me get off the kalesa and head for the entrance.

Again, narrating our trip would have been long and fun, but I find no words to describe how much fun I had. We visited replicas of caves, churches and forests. We explored the solar system. We stepped on gigantic piano keys. We played dentist. We played dress-up as firefighters. We studied different anatomical parts of the body. We went up and down the mini houses and in and out of bahay kubos. I hadn't had so much fun in so long.

After exploring, we got out and played tag on the playground outside and went up and down the slide. He brought me back to my old self, the me as a child, who loved to play around and explore, without a care in the world.

As he promised, we rode the Kalesa back and I was given a chance to admire the scenery. It was already around 5:00PM and I was wondering why my family didn't text. When he noticed my anxiety, he remarked, "Tinext ko na sila. Don't worry." Napangiti na lang ako.

We went back to our picnic spot earlier, where I said, "O, don't tell me may surprise ka pa."

"Last na. Promise. Haha." His brown eyes twinkled. "Pikit ka."

I closed my eyes not knowing what to expect, then I felt him pulling my right hand. Then there was a sensation of a leathery, rough stick. Flowers perhaps? He placed my left hand over the long stick. "Open."

For the fourth time, he surprised me.

"Bakit ito?"

"Ayaw mo ba? Uhm, ikaw kasi naisip ko nung nakita ko yan, diba favorite color mo yan."

He's right.

I was right, he did give me a flower, a rose. It could have been an ordinary red one, but the one he gave me was different. It was a blue rose. A rose I have long waited to receive. It was a gift I inwardly believed to be a sign of something special, something out of the box, since blue roses weren't natural. The thing is, I only told this secret superstition to close friends. Though we were relatively close, I never mentioned this to him, which made me all the more happier. As if involuntarily, I wrapped my arms around him in gratitude and said, "Thank you talaga. You don't know how happy you made me."

He hugged back, caressed my hair and whispered, "Glad you liked it, I love you."

I've heard this before.

But it I never felt this special.This time, in the middle of the park, where other couples were plenty, I felt safe and secure. Some time in that embrace, streetlights might have brightened the twilight, just like in the movies, but I was too happy to notice. I realized how superficial such things were compared to his warm embrace. I thank God I was with him.

*********************************************************

We hailed a bus back to Cavite and I was expecting to wave goodbye, but he followed me on board. I did not mind. I had fun all the way home. We never stopped talking or laughing. Our conversations just went from one topic to another. It was like being lost but still knowing where you're going, trusting that you have someone with you.

He accompanied all the way to my house, where we were welcomed by the tease committee. He had dinner with us, divulging as little of our date as he could. Around 8:00PM, he left.

Before going to bed, around midnight, I sent him a message:

"Hi! Sorry medyo delayed na to. Thank you ngayon. Di ko ineexpect na ganito kasaya yung araw. Salamat sa lunch, sa kalesa ride, sa museo pambata, sa habulan at sa blue rose. Di ko makakalimutan ang araw na ito. Goodnight."

Unlike me, he replied.

"Wala yun. I'm glad you enjoyed. Masarap pakinggan na masaya ka. Sana ganyan ka lagi. Ngiti lagi. Thank you rin at pumayag ka sa araw na ito. Di ko rin to makakalimutan, kahit kailan. At sana, maulit pa ito. Sige. Goodnight din sayo. :D"

*********************************************************************

"Ate, Shishing na."

I opened my eyes to see my cousin. I reached out for my phone, expecting it to be February 15. To my surprise, it was 7AM of Feb 14. How come? Did my calendar stop? Were me settings tampered? What happened?

It was quite long before I realized it was just a dream. But still, it was a dream I would never forget, It was a dream date. A date I shared with a guy whose name I do not know. It's quite funny that I dreamt it on this day. Out of desperation? I'd like to think not.

I believe I dreamt this dream with hope and love in my heart; hope that dreams like this still exist, and guys like him are still alive, out there, waiting, and love for the guy who would one day take me on this date and love me for who I am, unconditionally and selflessly. Ladies and gentlemen, this was the story of the date that never was, and the girl who still believes that one day, it will. Maybe not in the same manner, maybe not on the same day, maybe not in a way anyone would expect. But one day, it will. One day. :)

High School Youth Conference on Adolescence

2010-02-09T07:51:00.000-08:00

First of all, I would want to publicly thank Mr. Dominic Paguio, my professor in Human Development, for coming up with this hilarious idea. It's because of him that 75 Freshmen had to come to school wearing their High School uniforms.

My Masci uniform, the royal blue-and-white attire with the matching necktie, has long been stored in my closet. The last time I remember wearing it was April of last year. True, I had quite forgotten how it felt to wear that uniform and may have even outgrown the excitement for it. But this day truly reminded me how much I loved Masci and how much I loved being a high school student (yes, despite the sleepness nights and toxic days).

I felt the need to write a note on the matter because I simply loved this day. This day is certainly one of the best of the entire semester. So in this note, I want to share with you the highlights of today and hope that I can thoroughly relay how happy this day was. Aside from this, I also wanted to conduct a series of mini social experiments. My hypothesis is that people tend to treat you differently when you are in a uniform. I took note of my observations for the entire day.

Masyado ako na-excite sa araw na ito kaya todo rin ang preparation ko. Talagang nag-ayos high school student ako. I even used the bag I used on my first day of First Year High School. I wore my blue headband, blue watch, blue kung blue! My entire image was simply screaming "Nerd!" and "Geek" and "Betty La Fea!"

Ako ang unang freshie na dumating. Pag pasok ko, ramdam kong iba tingin sa akin ng guard. Haha. Tapos narinig ko pa si Kuya Lito na tinatanong yung guuard about me. Akala niya naliligaw ako. So sabi ko naman kaya ako nag-uniform kasi adolescence yung topic namin at kailangan mag-uniform. Ang akala tuloy ng guard nagbagong-anyo na ang uniform ng UP. From Maroon to Blue. :))

Nagsimula nang magdatingan ang aking mga kaklase. Naglabasan na rin ang iba't ibang style at kulay ng mga uniform namin.It was all so amusing. Mukha kaming youth conference ng iba't ibang school o kaya'y youth seminar about adolescence. Bongga, nasa audi pa man din kami. :))

Nagsimula na rin ang lecture sa pagdating ni sir Dom. May pinagawa siya sa aming exercise that required each group to discuss different issues during adolescence. Normal class stuff, except that every time someone stepped up to speak, he or she would be asked, "Anong school?" Parang seminar talaga. :)

Natapos ang lecture kaya todo picture-an naman kami (To camera-possessing people, tags oryt?) We had our class pic as well as several other vanity shots. When it was time for lunch, I suggested we go to Rob. I know Rob doesn't allow High school students to enter until 5:00PM, but I wanted to try if the power of our UP id's would do the trick.

Naturally, the guard did not want to let us in. We explained things and stuff. She even commented that our ID's may just be replicated from Recto or something. I even remember her saying "Sarili niyo lang niloloko niyo." I could hardly contain my laughter.

After lunch, I parted ways with my group and headed for Cerealicious to finish my Comm assignment. After the homework, I began pondering on whether or not I would go to Masci. I originally did intend to visit, but I was having inhibitions since I may be forced to leave or else not be allowed to leave the premises before my last class at 4:00PM. I wandered around Rob for a while and discovered that the saleslady in the department store didn't pester me with "Yes, Ma'am?" "Ano po sa inyo?" I guess this implies something, eh?

I decided to go to Masci rather than stay in Rob. I was wearing a Masci uniform and in effect representing the school itself. Being seen in Rob wandering on a weekday isn't a very good image.

I was afraid to enter school for fear that I may have to leave. But I was blessed that my Kuya guards welcomed me anyway and told me it was alright for me to visit around. Yeay.

I consumed my entire time in Masci to greet and see as many people as I could. I knew that they would all be surprised at my getup. Marami akong nakita at nakausap today. I'm sorry if I could not mention you all. I will, however, highlight some of the general impressionsi.

Most people would hardly notice me at first glance. They probably assumed that I was just another student. I don't remember who said it, but someone mentioned na mukha raw akong Sophomore. Haha
- Nung napagtanto nilang ako si Ella, they naturally asked why on earth I was back in blue. I usually answered "Magrerepeat na po kasi ako ng HS. " :))

It was Ma'am Habal's birthday and I was privileged enough to have a slice of her cake. :) Thanks Ma'am! Happy birthday!

Piniktyuran ako ni Carla sa outfit ko.

Most teachers would look at me for a while and assumed me to be a student before realizing who I really was. Some, like Ma'am Reyes, had to think whether I had already graduated or not.

Time flew so fast I hardly noticed that I had to leave. I had short encounters with as many people as possible. But I was indeed very happy as I crossed the road back to UP.

Akala ko di ako papasukin sa CAS. Pinapasok naman ako. Haha. Sabi pa ni Kuya, "Ikaw ba talaga yan?"

When I saw Ma'am Pagtalunan, she of course asked why I was in my uniform. I answered, "Ma'am, I forgot to mention that I would be repeating high school. This I'm afraid is my last day in college." :))

My classmates had all changed into civilian clothes except for Ace. Kaya naman nagmukha talaga akong bata. Haha. Sabi nga ni Denise lumiit daw ako lalo. :))

Bago umuwi, nangtetrip ako ng mga tao. Ngakunwari akong isang nawawalang bata na hinahanap ang iba't ibang lugar sa UPM. Buti sinasakyan naman ng mga blockmate ko. :))

Some quotable quotes that I remember throughout the day:

"Bagay pa rin sayo yung uniform" - Sir Adam

"Na-miss ko yung physique na to!" - Francis, pertaining to my getup (Ako rin Francis, I missed it so much).

"Nene, mag-iingat ka ah." - blockmate

"Hinahanap mo yung Dean ng CAS? Kaharap mo na." - Tatay

"Mukha kang 2nd year." - Random person

Ang saya talaga ng araw. Masaya ako na pinanindigan ko ang uniform ko hanggang matapos ang araw. Ewan. Iba talaga yung feeling nung suot-suot ko yung uniform. Naramdaman kong bata ulit ako. Naramdaman kong High School ulit ako. Iba yung feeling. Ang saya talaga. Salamat sa lahat ng nakasama ko ngayong araw. Mahal ko kayo lahat. :)

Oh, and I just remembered. Some time long ago, I was told that I am prettiest in my uniform.

NOTHING IS FAIR

2009-10-13T06:28:00.000-07:00

You (whoever is still reading) will notice that I seldom post entries. It must be the sched. It must be the exams. Then again it may also be the laziness. :))

But here I am anyway. It must be the sched. It must be the free time. Then again it may also be this incessant urge to remember, to commemorate.

What is there to remember? Check the date.

Don't know what I'm talking about? Well, that doesn't matter. It's not worth knowing anymore. In the first place, it doesn't exist. It's only worth remembering on my part. I'm like a little kid, reading an old book, reliving the days when Dodos were still alive. Yes, a mere discovery of what is extinct.

This post is similar to two of my previous posts, both expressing a desire to release emotions.

Today, I am supposed to be happy. Three years is no laughing matter. Three may still be a single digit, but that equates to 36 months of being together with one person. In this age of short attention spans and fickle emotions, that time is a doozy -- well, a doozy of happiness, that is.

You would think I would be celebrating right now. You would think I would be downright happy.
Sad to say, I'm not. I am at the far end of the spectrum.

The thing about those three years is that they are meaningless now. Sure, today may have been one of the best days of my life, and maybe for another person's. But that was the stupid past. Today is another story.

Anyway, today meant something else to me. It was no ordinary Tuesday. I have no idea why I feel a need to commemorate an obviously stupid date, but I do.

I saved the date on my phone's calendar.
I took time to decide on what to wear for today. Something that would signify the meaning of today. (I opted for my black Sci Camp 06 shirt, go figure)
Whenever I would write the date in my notebook, I would affix this: :c

Funny thing is, it seems the rest of the world was commemorating.

I thought about the date all day, and this is what happened in Soc Sci:

Prof: Kayo mga girls, kung yung friend niyo, parang kapatid niyo na, may boyfriend, tapos yung boyfriend may gusto sayo, tapos ikaw medyo bumibigay ka rin, itutuloy mo ba?
Me: Hindi po, masakit po yun pag ikaw yung girlfriend.
Prof: All is fair in love. Di pa naman kasal eh.

:((

Yan ang highlight of the day.

Nothing happened today anyway. Ordinary day if I say so myself. But to me the whole world was different, just because the number on the calendar read 10-13-09.

I don't want to say anything else. Happy birthdya na lang.

Oh, and here's my stat message in ym:

"3 years since my forever. 14 months ago it was over.
Tell me, how do you celebrate love with a broken heart?"

NEW SONG

2009-10-11T06:40:00.000-07:00

Posted a new BGM. I really like this song and the story attache dto it. It's from the Koreanovela Spring Waltz. I admit that I am no fan of Asianovelas, but this one is just too beautiful to ignore. I remember seeing it on T.V. when I had nothing to do, can't remember when though. The trouble is, I lost time to follow it religiously. Then, while waiting for Mythbusters to start, I stumbled upon Studio23 and to my surprise, they were showing it, right at the part that I last saw.

Disclaimer: The owner of this blog has no connection with any part of the production of the song nor the Koreanovela mentioned.

Amazing, huh? Anyway, I still was not able to follow it the way a fangirl should. Haha. I only got to watch it during Wednesdays (days-off) and Saturdays (when my mind is focused on Mythbusters). But I wa sstill able to catch up on the story and feel those "kilig moments." One thing I do regret is that I was never able to see the ending, which according to many sites, was very touching. Too bad nobody's updated wiki on the ending. :)

So, here's the song, enjoy. :)

One Love – Acel Bisa
Higher than the sky above you
Clearer than blue
Brighter than the rays of sunshine
Warmer than what you feel
More than all the wonders you see
It’s the most wonderful thing
Brighter than the living colors of flowers you see
Sweeter than the touch of water
Flowing from the mountain spring
More than all the wonders you see
It’s the most wonderful thing
One love…
I love you so
Love is the beautiful one
I love you so
Love is the beautiful one
All we need is love
Real love
Marvel at the sight of greenfields
Amazingly seen
Watch the colors of the rainbow
It’s a miracle you see
More than all the wonders can be
But there’s more than that
One Love…
I love you so
Love is the beautiful one
Greater than what you can feel
More than what you ever dreamed
This is better than your everything
One love…
I love you so
Love is the beautiful one
All we need is love
One love

Bad Monday

2009-09-14T06:04:00.000-07:00

I'm in for a hellish week and I've been through a stupid day, so I might as well be kind to myself for at least thirty minutes and release all the negative energy through this blog.

I had such a devastating (okay I'm exaggerating) day. Aside from the fact that I got up on the wrong side of the bed, I also had to endure an hour standing on the bus this morning. I was freaking exhausted and terribly wanted some shut-eye but I just couldn't get it.

By the time I was in school, I started entering into one of my bad moods. I don't know why I'm getting terribly moody these days. I don't know if it's the weather, the exhaustion, or the tremendous Masci memories I encounter. I have been missing Masci badly recently. I know it's ironic since five of my batchmates are Mascians, but somehow I miss Masci itself.

The whole idea of being a Mascian has always been a part of my life, and although the school is just across the street, I feel like I've been detached from it. I miss lining up before the morning assembly.I miss frantically studying in line. I miss seeing Mang Danny sweep some leaves. I miss Kuya Felix asking where Balasubas is. I miss buying load from Ate Canteen. I miss waiting in line for Kuya Xerox. I miss Carbonara moments. I miss writing excuse letters and having teachers sign them. I miss organizing school activities and watching your plans come to life. I miss our Pangkatang Gawain. I miss reading El Fili. I miss palitaw! I miss going to places because of activities. I miss being an Out of School Youth. I miss Parlia moments. I miss stressful days in the media room. I miss setting up the multimedia room. I miss announcing on stage. I miss talking to teachers. I used to be criticized for being so chummy to teachers. I wouldn't be surprised if others thought I was being the teacher's pet or something. Honestly, being friends with teachers has nothing to do with my aspiration to do my best. I don't know why, but I always have a certain affinity to people older than I am. I like talking to them about their jobs. I've always tried being friends with teachers, janitors, security guards, anyone who I encounter everyday. I just feel like I could always get a piece of wisdom from them, and I always do. It must also be because I never really had a lot of friends my age when I was little. Mommy and Dad always took me to their social functions, parties and gatherings. The kind of interaction I got exposed to was with the colleagues of my parents.

Moving on, I've been missing Masci terribly as you can see. Yes, I know I don't really have the right to complain since I practically see Mascians everyday. I just realized that Masci truly has been a huge part of my life. The last time school affected me this much was when I was under Mr. Dizon, my favorite teacher of all time.

Anyway, enough of the trip to memory lane. Let's go back to my stupid day.

I went to the library and did my N1 notes. I figured a cool environment would calm me down. I was there for 3 hours. After my library trip, I tried contacting Block26 about the Kanlungan script. It turns out they already submitted it. Unluckily though, I didn't know. Haha. I also happened to come across Ma'am Villarta. While waiting for a reply, I decided to eat my lunch. I bought my favorite viand - chicken barbecue. I figured since I was having a bad day I might as well compensate by eating. Since I was alone, I chose a table at the CN Tambayan and prepared to enjoy my meal. As I was about to start eating, one of the many cats of UP-Manila came up to me and started meowing at me like crazy. From what I've gathered, she was asking, no, threatening me for the my food. I thought I could just shoo the cat away, but it kept on pestering me like it was my inherent duty to feed it. I tried switching tables, but it kept on following me. It started looking creepy too. Its eyes were only slits and it looked like it was going to attack me. It didn't help that I have always had this dislike for cats. I probably looked stupid there talking to a cat in a freaked-out tone. I finally gave up anyway and just left my lunch on the table. Needless to say, the cat feasted on my Php60.00 lunch. Pfft. It's like my allowance is for feeding cats. Puh-lease. Di ako pinalaki ng nanay ko para magpakain ng pusa.

I was so irritated, both at myself and at the cat. I hate myself for allowing myself to be harassed by a cat, but I hate the cat all the more for being so greedy as to threaten me for my food. Curses.

Because of that experience, I swear I'll never eat in the CN Tambayan ever again. I also declare my new found hatred-slash-phobia for felines. Back then, my disliking of cats was nothing more than pointing out their bad sides. The dislike was only limited to me preferring dogs over cats. Now, it's different. Garfield and all his friends are now my enemies.

To make myself feel better, I had Claude accompany me to submit our Kanlungan script.

Since I had to eat, I went to Rob with Block26. I so wanted to try the new meal at Jollibee, but since I lost 60pesos, I had to settle for the Double Delight Pizza from Pizza Hut. Thank God Cheese&Bacon was available.

It's also good to know the cat didn't snatch my bottled water.

And so, the rest of my afternoon was pretty dismal for me. I did minimal socialization. A lot of people could tell that my aura was different today. I let DJ go home earlier. I really didn't want to send her away like that. It's just that I was having such a bad day. I guess it wouldn't have helped if I came along with her, else she would be the poor victim of my negative vibes.

Upon arriving at Lawton, I decided to compensate for my bad day with my favorite Belgian Chocolate waffles, but then another irritating encounter - the lady directly before me ordered 2 boxes of waffles. The order took so long that by the time I was ready to board a bus, the line was relatively long.

There. Now I'm off to face the remnants of my terrible day. Wish me luck. I hope things don't get any worse.

Bandwagon

2009-09-09T05:14:00.000-07:00

Whoaaaaahh. This is me, posting an entry? Oh c'mon. This cannot be happening. Haha.

Actually, I was just inspired by the fellow bloggers Joyce and Isay. They all had posts today. Call me a gaya-gaya and all, I don't mind. XD

I also checked out my previous blog (a.k.a. vaindolphin.blogspot.com) yesterday. I was quite the blogger before. Haha. However I do not intend this post to be long. I just want to make an update. So maybe I am a gaya-gaya. Haha. Whatever.

Don't get me wrong though. My posting does not reflect upon my free time. I am not even sure if such a thing as free time exists. Haha. I have a departmental exam to worry about and that alone is giving me the creeps.

Blogs are always about what happened, what you experienced, etc. Today I am going to write about what I will be doing for the rest of the night. It helps when your work is properly organized so here goes:

- NSTP learning journal
- Ask Sir Laufred if we would still have our long test on Friday
-Work on NSTP scripts
-Re-read outlining for Comm
-MATH.

That's about it I guess.

Now let me tell you about some eccentric (well, at least to myself) wishes I have been having lately. I may not be able to remember them all, but I don't really care :))

-Meet the Mythbusters
I thought my obsession would subside when school begins, but no. This is an obsession that suddenly makes me want to be home all the time just so I could watch the show. Lately I've been sharing this tremendous passion with fellow Mythbyusters fans. Also, my obsession for Grant Imahara also has not subsided either. I still consider him as one good example of the kind of guy I would want to marry. Haha. He just has almost everything I have always been looking for - the brains, the skills, the charisma, and not to mention the looks. Haha. I am not really a sucker for the most good-looking guys in the world. Somehow I find some people cute and others think I am crazy. I have no idea why I have such notions about what is handsome and what is not, but whatever that is, Grant is just my perfect mixture. Haha. I even fantasize about actually being with them, being on the show. It's a wild, wild dream, and I don not care at all. :))

Hayy. I said I would make a list, but laziness has overcome me once again. It seems the adrenaline rush from talking about Mythbusters used up all of my typing energy. If only I could just drone about them. Haha. Anyway, I need to get cracking anyway. :D

Maybe some other time. :)

One Year

2009-08-15T21:10:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday Sir Manuel.
Belated Happy Birthday Ace.

-----------------------------------------------------

I am about to begin studying for this week's activities. Although I do not have any upcoming exams marked on the calendar, UP life so far has taught me to always be prepared. However, just like in my previous post, I could not contain the urge to reflect today.

To many people, August 16 could mean nothing special. To others it could signify their birthday, their anniversary, their first baby and others. It is different for each person.

To me, August 16 is a day of troubled emotions, excruciating pain, treacherous illusions, shattered hope, broken memories... I could enumerate every metaphor available in my vocabulary, but to my opinion it would still not suffice for what I experienced on that day. Thankfully, I do not harbor all those emotions in the same magnitude today. But still, it is worth recounting how that day turned out, and worth contemplating on how I have been since that day.

Mind you, I still remember what happened that day.

I was to attend a seminar sponsored by the Rotary Club of Manila. As usual, I came to school earlier than expected. My world was a blur that week. Most times I hardly knew what I was doing. That was one of those moments. I reached for the cellphone inside my pocket and texted, pleading for a conversation.

The conversation progressed, and somehow I foolishly imagined light at the far end of it. My classmates who happened to browse through my inbox thought so too.

Attending the seminar was almost a waste of time on my part. Honestly, I tried concentrating on the speaker, but my mind just would not stay put. It fled to my textmate, my problems, my worries and fears. I continued engaging in an SMS conversation. I was a fairly frequent, not to mention fast, text messenger at that time, so every time there was a reply, another message would follow.

However, at one point, my thumb found it hard to encode the next lines.

When I consulted my mind, it had no idea what to say either.

I asked my heart, but I could not understand it. It seems it was too busy crying.

Flashed on my phone's LCD was a message I never imagined to receive from the messenger. They were a mere four words (Well, in text vocabulary of course), but they destroyed a multitude of arguments that I held on to for so long. It is astonishing how a few words could be so powerful.

Painful as it was, I continued the conversation. I learned a few more details that made things even harder to bear.

Somewhere along the way the seminar ended. Well, it actually ended for lunch break, but we left anyway. When I joined my schoolmates, I could not help but reach for an embrace and just let the teardrops fall. I am no crybaby. I hardly cry at all. I only cry for the most heartbreaking moments, moments when the human mind no longer has the ability to alleviate the suffering. Well, obviously, this was one of those moments.

Naturally, they were all shocked as I relayed what had happened. I could still remember how I cried in the comfort room, while they were all trying to comfort me with their words, saying I deserved more than that. They kept on comforting me as we rode back to Taft Avenue from Makati. It is funny, the four words contained in that text message created a whirlpool of devastation, and yet the kind and comforting paragraphs of my companions hardly made me smile.

But to this day, I thank the persons who were with me on that day, for catching me when I received the first blow, for wiping my tears when they first dropped. In the event I was alone in those moments, I know things would not have been the same.

We went to KFC. Seeing my depression, Oliver offered to buy me something. I appreciated all of them for being so kind to me. They knew what I knew, that I should just forget about it all, that I would get along just fine, but still they empathized with me, sensing the pain I was going through.

---------------------

That was not the end of the day. I know for certain what else happened, but it just does not feel right to reiterate the rest. Now is not the time.

What happened after August 16 was a series of struggle, anger, depression, disbelief, useless hope...

How did I get through?

I guess I should save that part for another post.

Right now, I just want to share some lines from a song... This song seems to echo everything that happened...

James Morrison, Broken Strings

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything
That you're heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you someting that ain't real

Running back through the fire, when there's nothing left to save
It's like chasing the very last train, when we both know it's too late...

Of Forkroads and What Ifs

2009-08-10T08:41:00.000-07:00

My blog screams for updates. My worn-out body aches for a detoxification. My pierced soul cries for an outlet. I do not really care whether I become offensively explicit or overly frank here. No one reads this blog anyway.

Funny that I should decide to make an entry on this momentous date. To be honest, I still have a load of work that needs accomplishing, but I could not resist the urge to post something. I could have posted on any other day, yet I want to make this day memorable, make it immortalized as a date that will forever remind me of my past. With fifteen minutes left to spare, I better make it quick.

Various points in our life will show a multitude of uncertainty. Particularly, we are often faced with the never-ending question of "What if?" At one time or another, we will be forced to make choices. It may be as simple as choosing what color to wear, what meal to eat, what book to read and the like. Inevitably, life will be full of decisions.

Look back on one forkroad of your life. What if you chose the other path?

Last year, on this date, roughly 4 four hours ago, I was met with an indefinite statement. Well, it started indefinitely at least. It began with an uncertain feeling that developed into conviction. That was the day that every single entity that I had known for so long shattered into pieces and resolved itself in the realm of oblivion; that was the day I felt my heart squeeze itself, as if wanted to dissolve into nothingness as well; that day, I was told of the Tale of Two Birds.

At that specific moment, I realized I was never sure of anything at all, and yet I refused to believe it. I wanted to believe that amidst all the uncertainty in the world, I could hold on to that one fact that I believed would forevermore keep me alive. But that night, my certainty began to shake; eventually it fell, and when it did, it pulled down everything else in my life.

I am very well aware of what that uncertainty led to, but I was just wondering, what if events did not transpire as they did? What if a different choice was made? Would I have been any happier? Would I still be here where I am? Would I still be sure of that one entity? This si the trouble with "what ifs" - you will never be able to know the answer.

Well, at least there's one thing I am certain of. If that moment did not occur, or if life had gone the other way, I would not be typing this insanely emotional and disgusting post.

I am glad God still loves me. (Oh, that's another certainty)

--------------------------------------------------------------

Happy Birthday Sharky,

Hurray for College!

2009-06-23T23:15:00.000-07:00

Ta-daaaaaa! I have returned after not posting anything for so long. Haha.

So, COLLEGE NA AKO. Yeay. Haha. It is still a little hard to believe since I still feel like I'm a little lost and disoriented kid. Haha. Obviously, it would take a lot of time and painstaking to remember everything that happened from the first day. So I'll be generalizing. Haha.

Ano susuotin ko?
This is normally the first big question I ask myself everyday. Haha. OA much? I don't know. I used to be only grade conscious and hair-conscious. Ever since I stopped wearing uniforms, I'm getting dress-conscious as well. I know people won't really notice what I wear everyday. Anyhow, I like to look good still.

My blockmates have decided to impose a "color of the day" thing. This is gonna help me a lot. :)

FX facts
Just like last year, I h still hitch a ride on Kuya Jobert's FX on the way to school. The trouble is, I have to get off at Pedro Gil now. I can't simply walk from Kalaw to Pedro Gil anymore (although that would be splendid exercise :D ). So my mom talked to Kuya Jobert. Now, he re-routes his FX just to get me right in front of UP-CN, for a little added fare, though.

7-eleven Series
Since I get to Manila one hour before my classes actually starts, I stay at 7-eleven across the street. I use the one hour to comb my hair, powder my face, read a bit, and buy a bottle of water just so I don't have to look like I did something for the store. Haha. This is also where I meet up with my friends before class. Before, it was just me, Bez (Mark), Dencio (DJ) and Tatay (Vincent), but recently, Ace and Kevin have been there too. Yeay. Happy life. May the guard never hate us or send us out. ;))

Attention Span Alert
In HIgh School, I only need to endure a subject for one hour. In college, it's a big challenge for me to wake myself up and start listening again. I've read that the human attention span can only last around twenty minutes, so I have to keep on renewing that once I realize my mind is drifting off. My shortest class is one and a half hour. Oh well. Just needs a little getting used to I guess.

Saan ako kakain?
I could have stuck to bringing lunch, but no. My mom thinks I should start buying food now and somehow learn to budget the allowance. I realize with restaurants scattered around UP plus the heft treasure still in Rob-Manila, that task is kinda hard. I have to consider myself lucky that our breaks are relatively long. :)

Part one muna yan. Tinatamad na ako eh. Haha. And I have a quiz in N1 tomorrow. I also have to start reading that Algebra Module. :)

Pre-college jitters

2009-06-14T07:41:00.000-07:00

Love is like a diamond; it takes years of pressure, pain and sacrifice to transform it into its greatest. However, just like a diamond, one love can only be destroyed...by another one.

-----

Wheee. I'm actually college by tomorrow. Haha. I thought I'd mke this post just before college so that I can savor the time that I'm still free and equipped with the luxury of time.

Haha. Actually, yun lang naman sasabihin ko. Ang ewan ko noh? Haha.

Sorry for wasting your time. (Though I really don't know if anyone is reading this. Haha.)

Kanta tayooooo...

2009-06-08T04:14:00.000-07:00

Before anything else....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TITO BOY VISARRA MASAMAYOR! :DDDDDDDD

Yeay! Andaming may birthday.

Now, let's move on to more random/irrelevant matters in my life. Haha.

I want to start a blog series! Not the story kind though, the SONG kind. :]]

Okayy. So for these series of posts, I will be posting songs (around 5, I guess) and highlighting or indenting the parts that have a direct connection to my oh so wonderful life. Haha.

Disclaimer: This is in no particular order, if you know what I mean.

Track no. 1:

First up, this used to be my favorite song by Christian Bautista. Very close people will know exactly why.

Disclaimer: I typed this song myself. No copy-pasta method here.

COLOR EVERYWHERE
Christian Bautista

Used to seeing black and white
Never really in between
Waiting on the love of my life
To come into my dreams

Everything is shades of grey
Never really blues or greens
Needed someone else to turn to
Someone who could help me learn to see

All the beauty that was waiting for me...

CHORUS
You...
You put the blue back in the sky
You put the rainbow in my eyes
A silver lining in prayers and now
There's COLOR everywhere
You put the red back in the rules
Just when I needed it the most
You came along to show you care and now
There's COLOR everywhere

Everywhere...

My life is so predictable
Never any mystery
But ever since you shined the light
All of that was history

Now I have a hand to hold
And a reason to believe
There's someone in my life worth living for
I was hanging around just wishing on a star

To put the happiness back in my heart and..

*CHORUS

Oh yeah...
You care and now there's color everywhere..

Left those hazy days behind me
Never to return again
Now they're just a fading memory
Because baby it's all so clear to see
The beauty that is waiting there for me

*CHORUS

A silver lining in my prayers and now
There's COLOR everywhere.
You came along to show you care and now, there's color everywhere.

Track no. 2:

Now here's the current bgm of this blog. Haha. I know in one of my previous posts, I gave out three different songs. Haha. At ngayon ibang-iba na. I was online one day and in the mood for some soundtripping. Knowing that my internet takes forever to load I just played random songs from the folder my cousin downloaded in the computer. I stumbled across this song and...poof! I don't know what happened to me, but next thing I knew I was asking Isay how to add music to my blog and here it is now. I can't really explain why I loved it. Maybe because it well...it had all the right words, words I was never able to utter, words I still want to say...

OVER YOU
Chris Daughtry

Now that it’s all said and done,
I can’t believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

*CHORUS:

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should’ve started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I’d doubt you,
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I’m slowly getting closure.
I guess it’s really over.
I’m finally getting better.
And now I’m picking up the pieces.
I’m spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

*CHORUS:

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should’ve started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I’d doubt you,
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should’ve started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I’d doubt you,
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I’m slowly getting closure.
I guess it’s really over.
I’m finally getting better.
And now I’m picking up the pieces.
I’m spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Putting my heart back together.
Well I’m Putting my heart back together.
‘Cause I got over you..
Well I got over you..
I got over you.
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through,
I got over you.

Haha. Ano ba 'to. Puro blue. Sorry, I kinda overdid the emphasizing. Like I said, it had all the right words.

Track no. 3:

This isn't a new song that I've discovered. I've known this for a long time. Something about it struck me immediately the first time I heard it. Foreshadowing? Haha.

INCOMPLETE
Backstreet Boys

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can’t find no rest
Where I’m going is anybody’s guess

*CHORUS

I tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It’s written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

*CHORUS

I don’t mean to drag it on, but I can’t seem to let you go
I don’t wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)

*CHORUS

incomplete

Track no. 4:

Now THIS is a new song. Haha. I first saw it on Nickelodeon on Nickbeats. I didn't even have the faintest idea what Dvaid Archuleta looked like at that time. I like the song as well as the video. Very well thought of.

A LITTLE TOO NOT OVER YOU
David Archuleta

It never crossed my mind at all
That’s what i tell myself
What we had has come and gone
You’re better off with someone else
It’s for the best, i know it is
But i see you
Sometimes i try to hide
What i feel inside

And i turn around
You’re with him now
I just can’t figure it out

*CHORUS

Tell me why
You’re so hard to forget
Don’t remind me
I’m not over it
Tell me why
I can’t seem to face the truth
I’m just a little too not over you
(eh eh eh oh eh eh eh)
Not over you
(eh eh eh oh eh eh eh)

Memories
Supposed to fade
What’s wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go
Didn’t think it be this hard
Should be strong
Moving on
But i see you
Sometimes i try to hide
What i feel inside

And i turn around
You’re with him now
I just can’t figure it out

*CHORUS

Maybe i regret
Everything i said
No way to take it all back, yeah
Now i’m on my own
How i let you go
I’ll never understand
I’ll never understand
Yeah, oooh, oooh, oooh
Oooooooh
Oh
Ooooh, oh

*CHORUS

Track no. 5:

LAST NA! Haha. This is a relatively old song. The first time I heard it was on my way to school during elementary. I even remember the DJ explaining the meaning of the title. Haha. Never thought this beautiful, short-titled song would become a huge part of my life. Right now, I'm listening and absorbing every word of this song...probably for the very last time.

214
Rivermaya

Am I real?
Do the words I speak before you
Make you feel
That the love I have for you
Will see no ending?

Well, if you look into my eyes
Then you should know
That you have nothing here to doubt
Nothing to fear
And you can lay your questions down
‘Cause if you’ll hold me
We can fade into the night
And you’ll know

The world could die
And everything may lie
Still you shouldn’t cry
‘Cause time may pass
But longer than it’ll last
I’ll be by your side

Take my hand
And gently close your eyes
So you could understand
That there’s no greater love tonight
Than what I’ve for you
Well, if you feel the same way for me
Then let go

We can journey to a garden no one knows
Life is short, my darling
Tell me that you love me

So we can fade into the night
And you’ll know
The world could die
And everything may lie
But you won’t cry
‘Cause time may pass
And everything won’t last
But I’ll be by your side
Forever by your side
So you won’t cry

--------------

Yeay! Tapos na. Haha.

I've finally finished this outrageous post. Haha.

PM me for questions? Haha.

Birthday Bonanza

2009-06-07T04:00:00.001-07:00

Yeaaaaaayyyy.

Andaming may birthday! Haha.

One, two, three and....

Belated Happy Birthday OLIVER LORENZO FERRANCULLO FELISILDA! (June 3)
Miss na kita! Bumalik ka na. Haha.

Belated Happy Birthday Kuya RAYMOND ANTHONY MASAMAYOR RELOVA a.k.a. KUYA RYAN! (June 6)
I miss you so much Kuya! Hope to see you soon. :)

Happy Birthday ARVIEL VELASQUEZ DELA CRUZ! (June 7)
Miss na kita! Libre mo ako!

and of course...

Happy Birthday EMMANUEL ROBERTO VISARRA MASAMAYOR a.k.a. Dad! (June 7)
You don't know how much I want to see you right now. I really, really miss you. I love you, Dad.

I feel like making a blog tribute. Haha.

Hulaan niyo para kanino?

EMMANUEL ROBERTO VISARRA MASAMAYOR
My father. My guide. My REAL first love.

It isn't a secret to many that this great man, my biological father, died when I was five years old. By that time, I was not yet capable of grasping the fact that I lost a father. People tell me that I was even playing around, smiling for pictures. It wasn't until I grew old enough that it finally hit me: Dad's gone, and he's not coming back.

Throughout the course of my life, throughout the 12 years I've lived without him, people have been telling me a lot about him, and each time they tell me, I can't help but wish he lived long enough for me to realize how great a man I have for a father.

Dad was a priest. He said mass for one year, however learned that he really didn't find his calling in being a priest. He got out of the priesthood. Mommy even says there's a copy of a kind of permission notice by Pope John Paul II. She says it's lying somewhere around here. I haven't seen it yet, though,

Dad managed to land a job as advertising manager for WG&A Shipping Lines. This is where he met my mom. And the rest, well, let's just say I was officially introduced into the world. XD

They say I acquired my Dad's eyes, brown and round, as well as his nose, and well, his height. Haha. Mnay people comment that I'm a perfect morph of my parents.

Dad was a very quiet person from what I've gathered from my five-year experience with him. I hate to admit it but I don't really remember his voice that much. However, despite the apparent silence, he had a great many friends. The funeral was jam-packed with loving relatives and friends. A lot of people think he's prone to anger, when in truth he really isn't. He had a lot of friends because he was a really good friend himself. That's one lesson I'll be carrying for the rest of my life.

He was also a terrific boss. Many of his past officemates say that he wasn't the kind of person who would go ballistic over the simplest mistake or fire people out of nowhere. No. He was the kind who would calmly correct people without leaving them with the feeling of intense embarrassment. He was also exceptionally kind to all our household help that time. He would even give them money to watch a movie on their days off.

Dad was also a guitar-player. Sometimes I wish he would teach me how to play. He was also a very wide reader. His collection of books remains here at home. I've always planned on reading the books he read but I never quite got to doing that, but his collection is more than enough for me to believe that he really was fond of reading.

Dad was quite the writer. Many people describe his writing as spontaneous, lively and well, beautiful. I used to nod at this in amazement of how wonderful a writer he must be for people to say such good things about his style of writing. Very recently though, I was able to feast my eyes on tangible proof of his greatness. It turns out Mommy compiled all the letters that Dad sent her. Cellular phones hardly existed before and people mostly used pagers and beepers. Since the nature of Dad's work had him away from home at times, he wrote letters to Mommy. He was a very detailed writer, from what I have gathered. He wrote every single detail of his travels in pure English. He even talked about he felt bad when his favorite PBA team lost. I didn't have the time to read all the letters, but among them was the epilogue he had written for his own mother's funeral. It was a lovely account of how his mother lived. Dad really was a great writer. "Myth confirmed" Disclaimer: I am watching Mythbusters videos on Youtube as I write.

Speaking of PBA, Dad was an ultimate fan of basketball. I remember the times he used to take all of us to Cuneta Astrodome to watch the games. I remember nights when it would be just the two of us in the room. It was either we were watching Disney movies, comedy sitcoms or basketball games. When he was in the seminary, short as he was, he was the coach of theri basketball team.

As I mentioned earlier, he was an advertising manager. He was in charge of all those designs and stuff for the company, and my was he good at it. He created such lovely designs for T-shirts, mugs, logos and the like. Photoshop didn't really exist that time so he used Adobe Pagemaker and at home, his pen and paper. I used to watch him do his designs. He is incredible. His left hand just simply swoops over paper and creates drawings just like that. One reason I love dolphins is that I often recall watching Dad draw dolphins to create logos for the company. Dad was, in fact, the person who taught me how to draw, and I'm starting to regret not carrying on with this passion that we used to share.

But what most people hardly fail to say (and I don't think it's just because they're talking to me) is that Dad had one weakness: Me. A lot of people always tell me how much my father loved me. My parents almost lost me once. Mommy bled once during her pregnancy. That could have been the end of me. Ever since I came into this world, Dad did all he could to show how much he loved me. He would give me all the best. Ever since I was born, I was always included in Dad's letters to Mommy. He made sure I had great clothes, great toys, great everything. I had a full closet of clother, an Imelda-like array of shoes and a room cluttered with my toys or at least, remnants of them. His usually slow-to-anger nature would be crippled if he found out anything happened to me. He made sure everyone in the house spoke English so I would get used to the language. He would be afraid of the slightest scars and even birthmarks that I used to have because he thought I wouldn't be "Ms. Universe" anymore (something I always laugh about these days.) When he would go out of the country, he would buy me toys. Mommy recalls of the time that he carried a really big Donald Duck stuffed toy on the plane like a little kid. To this day, Donald Duck is still here.

Sad to say, I wasn't really the most appreciative daughter in the world back then. My father's constant love kind of spoiled me one way or another. Even I sometimes can't believe how bad a girl I was. There would be times that he would buy me toys I wouldn't like and I would be steaming mad, slamming doors, throwing stuff around, throwing a tantrum in short. Surprisingly, Dad revealed in one of his letters that my tantrums were one of the things he missed about me. I also would not appreciate clothes or shoes. Being a kid and all, all I cared about was toys. I'm sure I hurt my father's feelings a couple of times with these antics of mine.

Dad had a lot of health problems, too. By the time Mommy met him, he already experienced mild strokes. He had diabetes, hypertension, and all the other complications that came with it. Dad was hospitalized September of 1997. Being the kid that I was, I hardly noticed how serious that was. We played in the hospital. I would act like a Queen and Dad would be the King.

I still remember the day Dad collapsed, was brought to the ICU, and eventually died on the 4th of October, 1997. I was in a blue dress that time, the same dress I had worn for my 5th birthday. We had chicken for lunch. For some reason I was having one of my tantrums, and Mommy was scolding me. Dad said that I should not be scolded, since I was only a child.

I went to the bathroom when I suddenly heard Mommy scream and drop a tray of utensils. Next thing I knew I was staring at doctors and nurses rushing back and forth into the room.

Like I said, Dad died, and I hardly realized that.

After he died, Mommy and I would sometimes pretend we could call him in heaven using my toy telephone. We would take turns talking to him on the phone that time. That was fun, even if it was all make-believe. I'd like to try that again sometime.

It's a known fact that one of my favorite movies is The Lion King. Everyone says that every time the cartoon gets to the part when Mufasa dies, I cry. I used to think this happened after Dad's death, which would explain such action as some kind of psychological outlet. But I just found out that all this crying about Mufasa started before Dad's death, meaning ever since I started watching it on tape, I would cry whenever Simba found Mufasa dead. This struck me as some kind of foreshadowing that's often employed in literature. I never thought it could ever be true.

Today, Dad is supposed to be 61 years old. I sometimes think about what life would be like if Dad was still here. He would have played basketball with me. He would have taught me how to draw like he did. He would have taught me how to play the guitar. He could have been the one who attended my graduation. He could have helped me work on my speech and practice it with me. He would have been the first to read the draft. He would have watched all my school presentations. He would have videotaped every single one, photographed every slight movement I would make. He would watch movies with me and recommend books to me.

But I know he's just somewhere there. I know he'll never stop watching over me. He always has. It was hard when I realized I lost Dad, but everything happens for a reason we cannot comprehend at the moment. I still miss Dad, but I wouldn't have had things turn out any other way. I'm happy where I am now.

I'm happy to have a mom who braved time and distance to make ends meet.

I'm happy to have a stepfather who loves me like his own, never mistreating me in any way.

I'm happy to have a stepbrother who taught me that not all people are like me, and I have to learn how to live with that. If it wasn't for Gerald, I would never have learned to cope with different types of personalities. I'll always love him for that, no matter how many short fights we get into.

I'm happy to have a Dad who'll always watch over me even if I can't see him. He's always been there, I know that. I feel that.

And I'm happy that I have a God who constructed my life so beautifully, giving me blessings I don't even think I deserve, giving me trials and heartaches whenever I need them, never giving them to me without a specific purpose. :D

The Lord wants this for me. And I trust Him.

------

Dad, thanks for always being there for me. I'm sorry if I was not the perfect daughter that you deserved when you were still alive. I'm glad I have a father like you, not just because you can do a lot of things and people say good things about you. Above all that, I'm happy because you love me so much. It feels so good knowing someone loves you that much. I want to give you a hug, a kiss and tell you how much I love you too. I hope I grow up to be the daughter you can be proud of, to fulfill the dream you always had for me - well, minus the Ms. Universe part, of course. Haha. I love you Dad. Happy birthday. :D

Pleasure Post. Haha.

2009-06-05T04:17:00.000-07:00

Hey hey hey!

Since summer is almost officially about to end, I want to make the most out of it by blogging regularly. Haha. You may think all I'm not posting anything relevant to society but I guess I'm entitled to my own idea of fun once in a while, right?

Haha. This is my pleasure post - pleasure because I am going to enumerate the things I want to have. In short, this is my WISH LIST. Haha. Sorry siguro wala lang talaga akong magawa. Haha. The stuff listed below are all material. I just feel like it, bakit ba. Haha.

1. David Cook Album
Okay. I've just recently began liking his music. Haha. I am so outdated. I personally like his voice very, very much. I don't know but I seem to have developed a liking for rock music. Haha. Anyway, my two personal favorites of his right now are "Come Back to Me," and "Light On." It's so frustrating that I still can't download his songs and transfer it to my phone. I'd sooooo want to have a copy of his album.

2. David Archuleta Album
Fickle much? Haha. Just like David Cook, I have also developed a liking for his music, and not to mention his looks. Haha. I don't know why, but his boy-next-door-looking-so-young-and-cute-image has really gotten to me. I fell in love with his two songs "Crush" and "Little Too Not Over You." They were both very appropriate in my personal life by the way. Haha. Last night, Carlos also recommended his song, "Let's Talk About Love." I really, really liked it. :D

*I've searched both artists so many times on Youtube.

3. Any other Music Album
I've become open to all genres! Haha. Except the really hard metal kind. Anyway, I currently am familiar with a lot more songs than I used to. And I'd love to get a hold of it in any medium! It's kind of irritating to wait for music sites and youtube to load all the time, with my very slow internet and all. Kahit i-bluetooth lang sa phone ko masaya na ako. Haha.

*I've been thinking on what bgm to use for this blog. On top of my list are If Everyone Cared by Nickelback, Light On by David Cook, Let's Talk About Love by David Archi. I'm open to suggestions. (Oh, and how do you put background music anyway? Haha. )

4. Mythbusters Merchandise
Seriously, this addiction of mine is getting crazy. Haha. I'd love to have a Mythbusters T-shirt, Mythbusters Keychain, anything that expresses my support for differentiating the real from the unreal. I'd also looooove to have Mythbusters Season DVDs. I don't know if anything I'm rattling about is even available in the Philippines, but I can always dream right? Haha.

5. UP Merchandise
I love the UP shirts! And I'm so dying to get my hands on any of them but sad to say I'm still low on funds. I don't even have an ID lace yet. Haha.

6. School stuff
Ang mahal ng mga notebook na may divider! I'd really want one of those notebooks with refillable pages. But they are soooo expensive! 150 ata mura na. Grr. And ballpens are getting insanely expensive. On the flipside though, I guess I'll be able to save since I won't need to buy around ten notebooks, pad paper, colored paper, colored pens and the like.

7. Clothes and Shoes
This is so feminine of me. Haha. This is probably due to my aunt, Mama Eden. She loves to take me shopping and she is just so 'talented' in choosing clothes and shoes. Haha. I'd also love some new shoes since UPM-CN has a strict dress code.

8. Books books books
The bookworm in me has revived itself! Haha. Although I read faster years before, I'm slowly getting back on it. I'm craving for more stuff to read. I don't have much time considering summer's about to end. Even if I don't have much time to read though, I'd love getting a book. I enjoy all genres! Haha.

9. DVDs
I have also gotten an interest in movies. Haha. There have been so many movies I haven't watched yet that I really, really want to get my hands on. Youtube just doesn't satisfy me. Haha. Even if I've also watched my share of movies, DVDs would totally brighten my day. Besides, most of the movies I have here are not in DVD format, they're in Betamax and VHS. My Dad was quite the film fanatic himself and we have a considerably large collection of them. I even have a copy of Pinocchio that's in the form of a CD that's really, really big. Uso raw yun dati. Haha. The problem is, our players for those media are busted and I can't watch my favorites anymore. By favorites I mean Lion King, Little Mermaid, Mulan etc. Haha.

10. Watch Harry Potter 6
I CRAVE to watch this in the movie house. The Harry Potter Experience is just so different that I insist on watching it in the cinema as well as getting a DVD copy of it. Haha. It comes out this July which is not very far from my birthday so I really hope I get the birthday money/have a really nice friend who could treat me. XD. I sure hope this time I don't get disappointed with it the same way I got disappointed with movie adaptations 3 through 5.

11. My Own TV
This is totally a dream that I know will never ever come true but what the heck. Haha. I hate having to argue with what channel to watch all the time.

12. LAPTOP
My dream for so long has still not materialized. :((

13. Room Aircon
Another big dream that may never come true. Haha. It would just be so 'cool' to have it in my room. :D

14. Car + Drivers' License
I know this can happen but probably in the very far away future. I really want to learn how to drive and I reckon Mommy will have no worries as long as I'm 18 years old. Haha. I'm actually thinking whether or not I should give up the debut they want for me for my own car. Wheeeeee. Xp

WAAAAAAAAAIT!

I promised myself I would only use the PC until 9pm. I checked the computer clock and it's already 9;25! I got a bit carried away there, didn't I? Oh well. I've run out of things to enumerate anyway. I guess I could have a Part Two of this Pleasure Post.

Bye~

P.S. UPM: Classes have been moved to June15. XD

Jota labs. :)

2009-05-30T05:40:00.000-07:00

Some people say "no" when the rest of the world says "yes." But there are a handful of people who say "yes" when other people say "no."

Know anyone who fits the latter part of that?

Ako meron. Beh. Haha.

Almira Joy Perez Jota
AJ, Jota, Almyra

The name "Almira" has already been familiar to me since Second Year. I've known her as one very smart student. She was Top3 of our batch during that year. However, I have to admit, I never really got the chance to talk to her personally, not until Third Year that is. From Third Year to Fourth Year, AJ and I were classmates.

That was when I really got to know AJ.

The fact that Jota is an amazingly great person is quite an understatement. She's really, really intelligent. She has this sort of in-born intelligence. She's especially talented in Mathematics and I often went to her whenever my mind got confused seeing all those numbers. It's magnificent how she manages to come up with all those solutions. Jota also has one of the best memories I can remember. In class, she hardly needs to take down notes. It's like every word the teacher says is registered automatically in her brain.

Academics aside, AJ also is one great performer. She's an outrageous dancer, often choreographing a lot of our class presentations. Pramis. Ang galing niya sumayaw. Super galing pang umarte. She even won Best Supporting Actress during our last Drama Fest. Rinape kaya siya run! She always is willing to take one for the class. In all our class presentations, she always plays such a remarkable role. Ka-group ko nga siya sa Filipino last year. Her awesome ideas and acting just make me go "ang galing ni Jota." I do believe that without her, presentations would never be the same. She is also quite the writer. Often, her outputs are often admired for her style of writing. I've read one or two of he routputs, and I must sya they were so beautifully written. She certainly goes beyond her years.

One of the best things about Jota is that she's a fighter. She knows how to speak her mind and stand up to it. Her strong spirit just makes me admire her all the more. She was part of the Parliamentary Team-Masci last year. She also attended the summer classes that the team was required to undertake. Circumstances did not allow me to attend such, but I hear a lot about Almira's performance.

She is indeed a very talented Parliamentarian. Always willing to study and undergo the intensive training. However, her health fails her at times. AJ has a heart problem and the pressure that arose from Parlia probably triggered her sickness. They tell me that she was even brought to the hospital. I've seen her like that several times before. Naalala ko pa noong Third Year, kinabahan kami lahat dahil naghihina at naninikip na naman ang dibdib ni Jota. That was my first time to actually see something like that. Except for times like these, AJ never showed any signs of her condition. She is in fact very active and perky. I often imagined people with such conditions to always be so timid and quiet. But ever since I met her, I never had that perception again.

Despite people convincing her to quit the team due to her health, AJ never gave up. She still prodded on. She could have let go of the pressure to make things easier for her, but she still chose to come out of her comfort zone, to never give up. This is one of the greates traits about her. She is not contented in limiting herself. She doesn't let boundaries like that get in the way of what she wants to do. She more than fits the line I made up at the start of this post.

Another thing about Jota is that she is one great friend. It's no wonder she has a lot of friends all over the batch. She's the kind who speaks her mind and yet still be able to listen and listen well. She's the kind who'll always be there for you no matter what happens. She may be the youngest in our class, but her mature outlook in life translates into years of wisdom. Very few people are like AJ, and I'm glad I'm lucky enough to have her as part of my life. (Andrama!)

Jota. Super salamat sa lahat. Sa lahat ng favors, tawa, ngiti, kwentuhan at pagkakaibigan. Pareho lang naman tayong mga anak ng Taft Avenue kaya't alam kong magkikita pa tayo. Goodluck sa college. Alam kong malayo mararating mo. Ingat lagi. Tandaan mo andito lang ako. Awww. Haylabyu Jota. :D

----------

Yeay. Haha.

Sige, matulog daw ako maaga. Paalams. :D

Body Clock Alert

2009-05-28T04:17:00.000-07:00

Good morning!
Good noon!
Good afternoon!
Good evening!
Good night!

Wheeeeeee.

I am very much sleep-deprived right now. Not because of insomnia, but rather because of my unbelievable desire to talk and talk and talk. :D

It all started last night. My cousin, Ate Madel, was reading my copy of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. She's been hooked with this personal favorite of mine and has been borrowing my copies. I'm glad that happened. It's nice to share this burning passion with my cousin. Haha.

Anyway, she was nearly done with the book so I did random stuff while waiting for her to finish. She finished the book at around 1:00AM. So we started talking about the wonders of the series. I ended up talking about most of the endings and spoilers. Haha. I just love talking about it so much. :D

So since we were done with Harry Potter and it was pretty late, we decided to sleep in my room instead of the Master's Bedroom. We turned off the lights. but somehow we just couldn't stop talking about random stuff. It was amazmingly freaky when we realized it was 5:00AM. Haha. Mama Eden caught us so we had to retreat to sleepland at 6:00AM. We got up, by force, at 11:30AM to eat lunch. Haha. I took a nap at 3:00PM this afternoon to regain my strength. Haha.

So, let me list the stuff we talked about. Well, at least those I can remember.

A Walk to Remember

This started when we commented at how Harry Potter is so much better than Twilight. We both enjoy love stories in movies, but we really don't enjoy books that have love as the central theme. We like books incorporating love however want it to be accompanied by several conflicts.

But A Walk to Remember is just a lovely exception. :DDDD

I haven't watched the movie yet. So she narrated it to me, and she is such the narrator. She puts in every single detail! Haha.

YouTube Videos
Actually, she also saw "A Walk to Remember" on Youtube. It turns out her intenret connection is so damn fast she gets to watch tons os movies as well as series on Youtube. So like the great narrator she is, she started sharing them to me.

Several of such are "Butterfly Lovers," "Picture This," "Another Cinderella Story," etc. Haha. Whatta conversation that was.

Childhood
We were supposed to retreat to sleep when we suddenly recalled our childhood full of the craziest things. Haha. It started with Disney movies. Then it evolved into Barbie dolls and what we would do with them: give names, comb their hair, cut their hair, paint their hair, etc. Haha. Then we remembered the stuff we used to do at our province in Siquijor, when we used to go there regularly. We used to fight over men! Haha, our male relatives, really. We also SERIOUSLY PLANNED to create our own movie! Imagine, 7-9 year olds planning to make a movie. We laughed our hearts out since we now realize how much money and time it takes to make a movie. We made scripts, designed costumes (which Ate Madel, SERIOUSLY planned to make herself), and even told grown-ups about our grand plan. We could just imagine how they reacted to our childish ways.

We also talked about our childhood attitudes. I was quite the maldita back then. I would slam doors, shout at elders and wanted things done my way. She even recalled of a time that she was crying and I just sat there playing, not even wondering what happened. Haha. How I changed is God's little miracle. :D

-----

We talked about a whole lot of other things but my memory escapes me. Haha.

I guess that'll be it for now. Thanks for taking the time to read this beautifully wala lang post. :p

NEW LAYOUT

2009-05-26T02:23:00.000-07:00

As you can plainly see, I have a brand new blogspot layout.

And I love it soooooo much

This was all made possible by:

My beloved daughter
DIANA DALISAYAGUILAR OROLFO

And what do we do to people I love? XD

I've known Naknak Isay since my first year in High School. As far as my memory tells me, I met her during the Knights of Science Club Officers elections. And somehow we just hit it off as friends. Thank God for that.

There was a phase in my First Year of High School that I started forming this sort of, err, family. Haha. I started having these "sons" and "daughters" from all over the batch. And Isay is proudly one of them. :)

So ako ang kanyang Momi Ella.

Where's the father, you ask? Let's just say we're from a broken family. Haha.

Through the years, I've loved having Isay for a daughter. As anyone would know, she's a totally amazing young lady. Her pretty baby-face just captivates everyone around her. She's an explicit writer, outstanding public speaker and parliamentarian, magnificent student, responsible officer and all other nouns and adjectives you can connect to her beautiful name.

And let's not forget how great a friend she really is.

She's been there for me so many times I don't have the time to type it all here. She was there when I went through the "broken family" phase. She was there when I first learned about it, there for me to cry on. She was there when I was down in never never land and couldn't get a hold of myself. She was there when I needed someone to talk to. She was there when I wanted to talk about things I may have said already. She was there when I got up again. She was there when I started being happy again. She was there when I lost hold of myself again. All this time, she's always been there. And I know she still is.

I ranted about my pain to her so many times I must have been like a broken record player. I just never stopped, but Isay never stopped listening, anyway. And she never stopped giving me pieces of advice. I've always felt comfortable talking to her about a lot of things because I know she understands and I know I can trust her with anything.

She contemplates a lot about life and I've learned a lot of things from her. She made me realize how you can always choose to be happy and how you don't have to look for love, to name a few. She boosted my self-esteem a lot of times and always gave me the right hug at the right moment. She gives me the right wisdom when I need it. There have been countless moments when I think she's God's instrument in enlightening me. Hyess. Guardian Angel.

I've always wanted to emulate that smile she keeps on her face all the time. It must be why she still looks so young. I hope that that smile never fades away. People like her deserve to be happy. No one should be hurting her and making her cry. Sabi ko nga, kapag may umaway sa kanya kukulamin ko. Kung may balak ka, matakot ka na. Haha.

Nak, always remember that Momi will always be here for you. If you need anything, contact me. Kahit madaling araw pa yan. I'm glad we're both in the same campus. I'll be watching over you like I promised your mom. You've done so much for me and I'll try to do the same for you. I may not be perfect but I'll always love that daughter I have in you. Keep smiling, okay? I love you, nak. :D

---------------

Oo na, madrama kung madrama. Haha.

Osha, kakain na raw. Bye! :D

Random Thoughts

2009-05-21T01:10:00.000-07:00

Hello hello hello.

Just thought I'd make an update. Haha.

Actually, nothing special has been happening lately. After last Monday, I've been confined to the house pretty much.

So, what has this "homebody" been up to?

Haha. Not much. But I'll tell you about it anyway.

For most of the summer, I have a regular TV time from 9:30pm-1:00am (reason why I hardly go nocturnally online). But over the past few days, my TV time has significantly reduced itself to one hour a day. Yeay!

And what have I been watching? MYTHBUSTERS.

Haha. I'm pretty outdated when it comes to watching this phenomenal TV series. It's been on air since about 2003 but it wa sonly last year that I began watching it. This is partly because this is the only time we actually got Discovery Channel on TV. But, it's better late than never, right?

So right. I am positively getting addicted to it. I get as much, if not more, entertainment from the show than I get from the late-night shows I used to watch. It all went to the point that when my mom called from the States, I actually asked her to look for a Mythbusters T-shirt. She does stay in California, right? Haha. Am I a fan or what?

Aside from the totally awesome mythbusting experiments they come up with (and surprisingly never run out of), the hosts themselves raise the entertainment scale about 200%. Yea, I'm exxaggerating but I don't care. Haha.

Jamie looks so intellectually cool. His beret-wearing physique shouts of years of experience and knowledge. I'd really want to shake hands with this guy.

Adam makes science the best subject in the world with his crazy antics eccentrically matched with his amazing genius. His love for blowing things up is so contagious I might just do it myself. (Yes, I am kidding)

Tori is an example of how great minds don't mean unattarctive features.

Kari is the epitome of how women can contribute as much to science as any other male specie. And you have to amdit, she is so pretty! :D

And Grant is just so cute! I've given up having TV crushes for as long as I can remember but I just can't help having a crush on this amazing electric engineer! He is the father of the R2D2 robots of Star Wars and the Deathblow robot of Battlebots, and let's not forget the Energizer bunny. :D

Oo na. Crush ko siya. Bakit ba? Haha.

I don't know why I have a thing for math geniuses and engineering wonders. People like them just make me go "wow!"

I even googled him yesterday and found his Facebook and Myspace profiles. Iba talaga ako pag nagka-crush. :D

Okayyy. If I keep going I may rant about it till eternity. So let's move on.

I have also recently rediscovered my Reader's Digest: Did You Know? Encyclopedia. It has my name on it but the handwriting indicates that it was from my father. He was always so fond of reading. It rubbed off on me, I guess. I read this a lot before, but I have neglected it ever since. I just opened it again and revived my love for the astounding facts it contains. COOL.

I've run out of things to blabber about. Till next time then. :)

I can't say I love you right now.

Malas? Haha

2009-05-19T00:35:00.000-07:00

Dahil napagod ako kahapon, magtatagalog ako. Yehey.

Super pagod ako kahapon. Eh bakit nga ba ako umalis kahapon? Haha.

Una, para isubmit yung request for Form137 ko for UP. Haha.
Pangalawa, para kunin ang yearbook ko sa aking grade school alma mater.
Pangatlo, para bisitahin ang aming best friend na si Karla
Pang-apat, para samahan si Lhannie na bayaran ang kanyang ID pic sa UPD
Panlima, dapat, para mag Rob. Haha.

Ikekwento ko lang naman kung paanong hindi natuloy LAHAT nang iyan. Haha.

So, umalis ako ng bahay nang mga 6:30 AM dahil ang usapan namin ni Lhannie 8AM sa Masci. Dahil Monday kahapon, wala akong choice kundi mag-standing sa bus. Hayup ansikip. Grabe. Nung magbabayad na ako sa conductor, nahirapan akong hugutin ang pera ko kaya nilagay ko muna yung envelope na dala ko (ang laman nun ay request for form137 namin ni lean, nursing pamphlet ko at FORM5 ko).

Nakatayo lang ako at hinihintay na dumating na sa Masci ang bus nang bigla na lamang bumagal yung takbo ng bus. Na-feel ko na nasiraan kami at nataranta ako. Nung pinababa kami, bumaba naman ako. Malamang. Haha.

Dapat, San Agustin na bus pa rin sakyan ko para di na ako magbabayad ulit. Pero sa kamamadali ko iba na lang sinakyan ko. Eh di relaxed na ako kasi ok na. Pag dating ko naman ng Taft inisip ko kung nadala ko ba yung request for Form137 ni Lhannie. Doon ko na-realize nang bonggang-bongga na NAIWAN KO YUNG ENVELOPE SA BUS.

Nagpanic ako at muntik umiyak. Hello! FORM 5 KO ANDUN! Pag dating ko nang Masci kung tinext ko si Mama Eden para hanapin number ng San Agustin Bus liner. Tinawagan ko si Dencio (na tulog pa nun) para hanapin sa internet. Tinawagan ko rin si Miguel (tulog din non) para tignan yung mga bus ticket na nasa kanya kung may number ba.

O diba andami kong ginulo? Haha.

Dumating na si Lhannie at sinamahan niya ako sa Lawton Park'n'Ride para magtanong. Tinanungan ko yung dispatcher ng San Agustin. Tinawagan niya kung sinuman ang tinawagan niya para kunin yung envelope ko. Phew. Sobrang relieved ako.

Eh di naghintay kami ni Lhannie NANG SOBRANG TAGAL. Haha. Antagal talaga. Mukhang napansin kami ng mga conductor kaya kinausap kami. Eto mga hayup na conversations:

Conductor: Matagal pa yun! Sa Tagaytay pa 'yun (wehh..) Sakay na kayo dun samin o!
Ella: Ay, wag na po. Antayin na lang po namin. Wala na rin kaming pera.
Conductor: Okey lang 'yun. Maganda naman kayo eh. Libre na.

Conductor: Taga-san ba kayo?
Ella: Maynila po siya (turo kay Lean), Imus po ako
Conductor: (Tingin kay Lean) Kaya pala maganda, taga-Maynila eh

So pangit ako? Haha.

Anyway. Dapat din kasama sa lakad namin si Jonah. Pero dahil nga sa accident ko, di na namin siya naabutan. Sabi pa ni Lean wala siyang phone.

It turns out "hiniram" niya ang phone ng kanyang ina. Tinawagan pa niya kami galing bahay niya. Nang dumating na rin ang envelope sa wakas, nagkita na kami nina Jonah. Pupunta na dapat kami ng Masci para isubmit ung request forms namin kaso lang...

SABI NI JONAH WALA SI SIR ADAMS.

Grr. Kaya nag-jeep kami papuntang Faura. Nag-jeep ulit kami papuntang OB.

Nakatutuwa si Lean. Parang bawat dinadaanan namin tinatanong niya kung nasaan kami. Haha. Tour?

Nakarating na kami nang OB. May renovation na ginagawa. Papasok na sana kami kaso nakita namin naka-post s agate na...

ALL OFFICES CLOSED ON MAY 18 AND 19 DUE TO PERSONNEL DEVELOPMENT DAY.

Nagtanong pa ako sa kanila, "May 18 ba ngayon?"

Parang natawa na lang kami sa sobrang malas ng araw.

Pumunta kami sa katabing Pizza Hut dahil gutom na kami. Bumili kami ng regular sized Pan Pizza at pinagtawanan ang mga pangyayari.

DAHIL WALA NANG ORAS DI NA KAMI TUMULOY KILA KARLA.

Next stop: UPD.

So nag-FX kaming apat papuntang UPD galing Masci. Hayun. Antagal. Nagpa-music nalang ako. BUTI NALANG DALA KO ANG AKING HEADSET. Phew.

Pagbaba ng FX, nag-jeep kami papasok ng UP.

Anlayo ng binabaan namin. Huhu. Anlayo ng nilakad namin. Nagkalituhan pa kung asan ang OUR. Hayyy.

Hayun. nakarating na kami sa OUR. Magbabayad na sana si Lhannie kaso...

CLOSED DAW ANG CASHIER TUWING MONDAY.

Jonah: "Sige Lhannie bumalik ka pag Monday ah?"

Hahahahaha.

So nilakad na naman namin yung sobrang layo para makasakay ng jeep pabalik nang Philcoa. Dito ako super napagod na. Grabe. Siguro papayat talaga ako kung nag-UPD ako. Haha.

So nakasakay na rin ng jeep na antagal din mapuno. Nang makababa ng Philcoa nag-bus kami.

Bumaba si Jonah sa Blumentrtitt, ako sa Lawton, the rest sa Faura.

Soundtrip ulit.

Ay, oo nga pala. DAHIL WALA NANG ORAS AT TINETEXT NA AKO NI MAMA EDEN, DI NA KAMI NAG-ROB.

Pagdating sa Lawton, dala ng uhaw bumili ako ng Zagu Mocha. Haha. Kaya ayun. Pag baba ko ng bus wala na akong pera para sa tricycle. Dahil low on funds, nag-jeep na lang ako pauwi.

Pagdating ko sa bahay, dumating sina Uncle Homer and family para matulog dito sa bahay. Yehey. Andmaing tao. Haha. Kumain ako at shinare ko ang aking araw.

Nag-soundtrip ulit ako sa kwarto at nag-isip. Dalawa actually ang choices ko sa araw na iyon. Una, ay ang nangyari. Pangalawa ay samahan si Ate Madel papuntang UPLB (first time niya pumunta mag-isa galing Cavite) para asikasuhin ang kanyang DOST account.

Dumating si Ate Madel. MINALAS DIN ANG ARAW NIYA. Grabe

Ang haba ng kwento niya kaya eto nalang:

1. Naubusan ng gas ang sinasakyan niyang van.
2. Di niya alam kung san tumugil yung van
3. Hinuhulaan niya ang mga binababaan niya
4. Pinagsabihan siya ng driver ng jeep dahil bababa sana siya sa bawal. Haha.
5. Kulang dala niyang requirements
6. Nagpa-photocopy siya, pagbalik niya naka-alis na ang officer ng DOST. Pinapunta na lang siya sa office na malayo pa rin.
7. Malayo-layo ang tinakbo at nilakad niya.
8. Na-submit niya requirements niya 2 minutes bago magsara ang Office ng DOST.

O dba. Mag-pinsan talaga kami.

Haha, Pagod akong umuwi sa bahay.

Ayan, nakwento ko na. Mag-eenglish na ako.

-------------------------

I think God is trying to tell me something by giving me such a day. When things like these happen, I try to look on the bright side and decide that if something bad happens, something good is about to be coming. But in days like those, it's hard to come up with good stuff, right?

But then again, other people have gone through worse days. This day may have been miniscule to people who've experienced major tragedies and calamities. If I start complaining about days like these, I can't be any stronger for tougher problems.

So, I decided that if something bad happens, something good is coming up too. It may not be of the same magnitude as whatever misfortune occurred, but I guess it's a matter of how you look at it.

In fact, as bad as the day may have gone, I actually felt happy about it. When things go bad as they did yesterday, you can't help but just be amused at it. That's what we all did. We kept laughing at whatever happened. It would be no use to sulk anyway.

So, let's all keep looking on the bright side. Sometimes it may seem like such a side of life doesn't exist. But I guess all we have to do is blink again, adjust our eyes, and see the light. :)

Just for kicks, I want to share what good stuff happened yesterday:

1. My cousins stayed over and we had an awesome time with each other.
2. Ate Madel and I played on our cousins' Nintendo DS (French lessons)
3. I was with friends I wouldn't trade the entire world for.
4. I had an aweosme time commuting around.
5. I now have a hands-on experience of what it feels like to lose something on the bus.
6. Nakakain ako ng Pizza Hut (trivial, but I simply enjoy it)
7. Nakita ko ang OB. Good enough
8. May mga nakita akong Mascians and teachers sa school
9. Nakainom ako ng Zagu! Yeay.
10. Nagsoundtrip ako. Ang galing ni Lord, usually di ko naman dinadala headset ko peor kahapon dala ko.
11. Siguro naman marami-raming calories ang na-burn ko sa kakalakad db? Haha.
12. Nakita ko si Mark San juan sa KFC. Miss ko na yun.

Pag may naisip pa ako, dagdagan ko. Haha.

Byeeeeee

I can't say I love you right now...

750-750-350-425

2009-05-14T04:28:00.000-07:00

F Z B D

Yan lamang ang nakita ko sa pinakitang chart ni Dr. Kamantigue last May 14. :((

Yep. I went to the eye doctor for my yearly eye check-up. Haha. Unfortunately I can no longer see clearly even with my glasses on. Haha.

These were last year's stats on my eyes:

nearsughtedness:
R - 675
L - 750

astigmatism
R - 475
L - 350

Here are this year's stats:

nearsightedness
R - 750
L - 750

astigmatism
R - 350
L - 425

Hurray for my eye defect! (I would like to point out that my condition is not a disease but merely a defect I have to live with :D )

Today, I bought a new set of frames for my new eyeglasses. I delivered them to the eye clinic so I can have the lens made. I'm supposed to get my new eyeglasses in seven days. I am so excited. Haha. My new frame is the same color as the one I'm wearing now (black and red), but they're much cuter. Ang cute nga ng brand eh... PLAYBOY. Hahaha.

I haven't posted in a while so I best get you updated on what I've been up to.

Hmmm. Fast facts:

- Denise and I had our dental check-up at the SERRAON DENTAL CLINIC here in Imus. Hyup. Ace's uncle checked on us. Haha
- The Masci-turned-Nursing peeps had our Physical and Dental exam
- ENROLLED NA KAMI
- we attended a College of Nursing orientation
- I got my yearbook (the best!)
- We took a psych test + had an orientation for Freshies

Haha. Since I am already enrolled, I already have my sched...

University of the Philippines-Manila
COLLEGE OF NURSING
Block 25 Schedule

Well, there it is. Four of us are in block25: Mark, Tatay(Vincent), Dencio (DJ) and myself. Sayang di namin kaklase si Claude. ;(

I guess I really will be in college soon...

*First Day Anxiety Attacks coming on...*

Btw, I'm thinking about getting myself a Globe Sim. Almost all of my blockmates are globe subscribers and so is our Block Coordinator, Ate Iella. What do you guys think? Tamad din kasi ako magpalit ng number. Haha. Pero baka naman mas practical? Ewaaaan

Toodles na lang. Haha.

I can't say I love you right now...

From Diana

2009-05-02T22:15:00.000-07:00

Since I have nothing better to post and nothing to rattle about, I decided to take this survey from Naknak Isay. Here it is:

got this from KM!

Subjects
What is your least favorite subject?
Uhh, I don't play favorites/least favorites, but I'm having real big trouble with Chem and ComSci. (Tutor please?)

How about your favorite subject?
Again, I don't play faves. But I get most psyched in Parlia, History, English, Physics, Anatomy and Physiology.

What subject do you think won`t help you in the future?
Humanities

What subject do you think you`ll be using a lot in the future?
Science, especially Chemistry (help!), Biology (esp. AnaPhysio)

What`s the hardest subject for you?
Chem, ComSci, Math. Imma weak. :(

The easiest?
Err, actually hindi ako nadadalian. But siguro when you like a subject it becomes easy, like ENGLISH. Haha. :p

What do you do in Gym Class?
Lecture, Dance, Play

Do you even like Gym Class?
I like that class, but I am so not athletic

Do you get nervous when you`re called to read?
Read, not really.

How about when you`re called to answer?
When I have no idea what to say

Do you know every answer when you get called?
Of course not.

...Or do you just stand there in silence not knowing it?
When I don't know the answer, I have to shut up rather than guess my way through it.

Are you failing any subjects?
God was kind enough to let me graduate :)

Teachers
Do you like old teachers or young teachers?
Doesn't really matter

How about male or female teachers?
I think they're equally great.

Do teachers always get mad at you?
I hope not :(

If yes, why do you think so? If no, are you a teacher`s pet?
Yes: kasi makulit ako? No: No, there's nothing wrong with being friends with teachers.

When you see them in public, do you say, "Hi"
No. "Mabuhay!" Haha. Pati guard ng Jabee nasabihan ko na nyan.

It seems like teachers never fart, right?
Never realized that.

Who is your favorite teacher?
Homaygad. From the start? Breakdown:
First Year: Ma'am Felicerta, Ma'am Mendoza, Ma'am Canyong, Ma'am Reyes,
Second Year: Ma'am Rivera, Ma'am Bigaw, Ma'am Dayrit, Ma'am Jarabese, Ma'am Palisoc, Ma'am Kati
Third Year: Ma'am De Paula, Ma'am Correa, Ma'am Lazaro, Ma'am Okafor, Ma'am Dee, Sir Rafols
Fourth Year: Sir Bau, Ma'am Correa, Ma'am Gozo, Ma'am Q, Ma'am Jacob, Ma'am Gumboc
Di ko naging teacher na labs ko: Sir Divine (your Majesty!), Ma'am Carlos, Sir Bangayan, Ma'am Villa, Ma'am Amar

Least favorite?
Wala eh. Di yun Joke. Mahal ko lahat. At kahit may nakainisan ako, di na ngayon. :)

How about the most evil teacher ever?
Wala naman sigurong aabot sa standard ng evil. Asar and unreasonable lang siguro. :)

Do you like your class?
NAMAN. :)

Did you think you were gonna like it during the start of the year?
Kung start of this year hindi, coz I loved them since Third Year. Pero kung start of Third Year, SUPER. Takot na takot ako maging Berze nun.

Is there anyone you hate?
Wala naman.

Who are your group of friends?
Hmm. Let me quote Arviel on my friendships: "Wala kang barkada, pero marami kang friends"
Pero I have several best/super duper close/special friends: (sa class lang toh ah, marami pa akong best friends na hindi ko kaklase, haha. O db)
-Marky Bez
-Lean
-JJ
-Piqs
-Denciolabs
-Tatay Jack
-Oliver
-Ace

O db, 2 lang babae dyan. >:]

How many couples does your class have?
Uhh. Ilan nga ba? Yung totohanang pag-ibig kasya sa kamay ko. Pero mahilig kasi Coper sa loveteam. Ayan. Hehe.

Do teachers like your class?
Marami na nagalit samin, but I hope they still love us :)

Are you an officer?
Yeah, Secretary

If no, would you wanna be one? If yes, do you hate being one? If yes again, do you actually do your job?
Why would I hate it? It allowed me to memorize everyone's birthday and have access to everyone's contact numbers. Haha. It also gives me a sense of responsibility. And YES, i do my job, though I'm a bit lousy on recording attendance.

Lunch
Who do you go with during lunch?
Paiba-iba. Sometimes I eat lunch alone.

Do you bring lunch or buy lunch?
Bring

Do you sit on a table with all your friends?
Yeah, pero mula nung sandwich diet ko I eat lunch standing up.

Do you spend your lunch time in the library?
You wish.

Next School Year
What level will you be in next year?
College.

Are you gonna be in the same school?
Nope. Walang Manila Science College eh. :p

What are you looking forward to next year?
It's a new world.

What`s so special about next school year?
MAGSISIMULA AKO ULI :]

What subject do you think you`re gonna be good at?
Feeling ko nga bagsak/pasang-awa karamihan eh :(

What subject are you scared of `cause you think you`re gonna fail?
MARAMI. :((

Do you think it`ll be harder than last school year?
Yeah. I'm scared as we speak.

Who do you want in your class next year?
Anyone. I'm lucky that there are 5 of us in Nursing.

Do you prefer guy teachers or girl teachers?
Both po. :)

How about: old teachers or young teachers?
I don't care as long as I learn something. :)

Summer
What do you plan on doing this summer?
LOSE WEIGHT! ~ ditto Naknak Diana. And I hope I get to learn to play the guitar.

Do you think it`s productive?
Dunno but I hope so.

Honestly, do you even like summer?
Yeah. It's a relief after my years of being sleep and summer-deprived

If you said yes: Don`t you find it boring? If you said no: Would you prefer summer or school
I do find it boring, but I'd rathe relish it. It'll be all over come June.

Do you go out with your friends every single day?
Can't.

Do you eat more than you should?
I hope not. I'm cutting on food na nga eh.

Do you get pissed at yourself `cause you feel like a lazy bum?
All the time.

Is your TV on almost the entire day?
Yeah.

Is your computer on almost the whole day?
Yeah but I don't get to use it much (glances at brother and cousin)

Do you like it hot or rainy?
Cloudy

Are you joining any summer program?
Is Laziness 101 counted?

Crush
How long have you liked this person?
Uhh, I don't actually know myself

What makes you feel like he/she's the one?
I don't feel like he's the one at all. Crush lang kaya. Hayup.

How did you meet?
Where: School. How is another story.

Can you actually have a decent conversation with him/her?
Yeah. I like being friends with any crush I may have.

Are they older than you?
I used to prefer older guys, pero 6 pa lang ata nagiging crush ko na older. Halos lahat younger (marami yung lahat). Ang tanda ko na kasi. Haha. Younger ata ngayon. Ewan. Haha.

Does he/she know you like him/her?
I hope not.

Do you think he/she will ever like you back?
No. I'm not the type of girl anyone would like. Andrama kooo! Haha.

How would you react if he/she said that they liked you?
Ella: "Weh?!" Haha. Sorry abnormal ako eh :p

Do you talk to him/her a lot?
Fairly enough.

Do you guys text a lot?
Not really. Tamad na magtext. Haha. Pag may load lang.

Do you guys chat a lot?
Fairly enough.

Do you get that tingly feeling in your stomach when his/her name pops up on your computer monitor/cellphone?
Well...yeah.

Friends
Who among your friends is the...
Smartest? Lahat naman matalino eh. Di yun bola. Totoo yun. We all have our own way of manifesting that intelligence.

Funniest? That's one of the things I love about Coper, it's so easy to smile with them :)

Most popular? Oliver. SSG President! Boy Mayor! Foreign Exchange Student! :)

Friendliest? Dami eh. Haha

Most caring? Marami rin. Haha.

Most hyper? Ako baliw eh. Haha. Pero hyper tumawa si Dencio. :p

Most baby-like? Lhannie. Bata! Haha.

Hottest? Dami! Yana. Anna. Jota. Etc. Dami kasi eh ano ba. Haha.

Cutest? LAHAT. Haha.

Most vain? Ako beyn eh. Haha.

Most random? Kami ni Dencio. Kung san-san napupunta yung usapan.

Ayan. Tapos na. Haha.

I would also like to greet a very happy birthday to...

JAICA N. DITA (May 1)
JAN VINCENT T. DELOS SANTOS (May 3)

I LOVE YOU BOTH! <3>

AND...

I love you whoever you are...
:)

Happy Memories

2009-04-30T00:48:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in a while. Haha. But I want you to know that I've been having the time of my life for the time that I haven't been posting anything. Well, a lot have been saying that I can already consider this summer as my very last since I'll be having summer classes for the entirety of my college life (Hope I survive).

So I made up my mind to make the most of this summer. I haven't done anything academically-related (except in terms of preparation as incoming freshman). No books, no GC advanced studying or whatever. I've decided to give myself a break. I have partly accomplished that by doing daily exercise, organizing my room and malling as much as I can. Bwahaha. I've also read two books I've been dying to read: The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini (purchased last Christmas) and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (purchased 2 years ago). My very busy schedule has forbidden me to ever dare opening them, but I finally have. Haha. Take that you tyrant of time!

Oh, and I've also made it a point to join every party, event or whatever else I happen to get invited to. Bwahaha.

ATE DENESY'S 18TH BIRTHDAY PARTY

Last April 25, I was able to attend Ate Denesy's 18th birthday party in Laguna. It had a Hawaiian theme, so I wore a shirt with floral print. Yun na pala definition ng Hawaiian. Haha. Since I love her so much, I braved the distance just to attend. Haha. As Oliver would say, "That's what Parlia does to you." :D

I hitched a ride in Kuya Michael's car together with Ate Nina, Ate Mikka and Ate Charm. I had fun talking with them. They even taught me how to play Pusoy-Dos. Oha Oha. Marunong na ako!

The party was supposed to start at 4:00pm, but we arrived at around 6:00pm and it didn't start yet. Haha. But we had a great time there. I was surprised that I was a part of the 18 wishes that had to give a message for Ate Den. Haha, super impromptu. But I was happy to speak there and blow the candle for her. Like I said in my message, she has always been the ate I never had. It amazes me how she manages to juggle everything from academics to Christian living and still have the time to enjoy life and help her friends. Indeed, she's one of a kind. :)

And here's the lovely lady herself:

Deane Denesy Jao
I love you Ate! :)

Party Pics!

Masci batchmates ni Ate + Ella + Ate Sarah

Table Numbah 1 with grass-skirted Ate Nina. XD

The 15th wish :)

Awww. Sisters. :D

COPER OUTING

I have been simply dying to have an outing with my classmates for as long as I can remember. I have never been to a single formal outing with my classmates ever since. I thought the dream would materialize last year, for the Berze Outing, but unfortunately that didn't happen.

However, the dream finally came true. Oha oha. Just yesterday, April 29, 2009, I was on Cloud Nine with the people that made my High School life worth smiling about. Yep. Yesterday I was at Island Cove, Cavite, with the class (or at least 15 of it) of IV - COPERNICUS 2009.

15 people already seems like an achievement. Here's the line-up:

Cavite people: Jota, Ace, Dencio, Jannah, Jaica and Myself
Manila people: Tatay, Gorie, Yana, Josols, Kakai, Piquero, Arviel, Claude, Chaim

Since I already live in Cavite, I met up with my fellow Cavite residents at SM Bacoor at 7AM. Dencio, our Super Organizer, was late. Haha. I just wanted to say that. Peace tayo Dencio. ;)

Surprisingly, our classmates from Manila, who met at Masci at 6AM, arrived there before we did. Aww. Haha.

When we got there, the weather was a lovely cloudy day. It wasn't too hot nor did it suggest the onset of a storm. There also weren't a lot of people there. It looked like a wonderful day ahead.

Since Island Cove has a strictly spandex rule, my mom had me buy myself a new swimsuit (for obvious reasons, my old swimwear just wouldn't do). Dahil vain ako, I took the liberty to take pictures:

Oha oha. XD

Wet Look. Whaa.

O, say mo? Bwahahahaha

Piqs wasn't able to get up early so he missed the ride to Cavite. He contacted us and was able to arrive there all by himself! *applause for Piqs*

Syempre, dahil resort yun, nag-swimming kami. Haha. It was so much fun. We played all sorts of games like kids gone loose.

Hinanap namin ang piso sa pool, nagpatagalan kami sa ilalim ng tubig, nag-wrestling kami ng mga girls habang nasa balikat ng boys, nag pool volleyball kami nang boys vs. girls, nag-underwater vanity kami gamit ang underwater camera ni gorie, nag-slide kami at muntik na ako tumalsik, kinarga ako ni piquero dahil gumaan ako sa pool, nag-train kami papunta sa pinakamalalim na part ng pool at muntik nang magkalunuran (na-feel kong inabangan na kami ng mga lifeguard, haha). It was just like the old times at school, when we made the most out of each other's company, making each other happy with the simplest of things. That's one of the most wonderful things about Coper, it's so easy to smile with them. :)

Pictures from Denciooooo

FHM Part 2

Tweetums kuno. ;)

Pa-cute... Si Jannah nakatulog. Peace tayo!

Bridge over troubled water. Oha.

Mahal kong Denciooo. :**

Gusto ko lang i-share ang isang banat ni Josol habang kami'y nagvovolleyball:

Nasa pool kami...
Kakai: Uy! umaambon na!
Josol: Hala. (worried look). Baka mabasa tayo!

Hayup ka, Josol. LOL. :))

At around 2:30pm, we finally made our way to shore,haha. We had to shower and dress up for another trip that we paid for: Animal Island. Zoo trip naman kami. Haha. Since sabi ni Kuya malayo raw, we took on bikes and sidecars. Since I seem to have forgotten how to ride a bike, I rode in Piquero's side car. Ang sweet namin. Haha.

We saw the same stuff we were supposed to see at the zoo. Haha.

After animal island, Jaica, Jannah and Jota had to get home. The rest of us headed for our house. Yeay. May nakapunta na ring section sa bahay ko, and I'm glad it was Coper. :)

Kumain lang kami sa hinanda ng aking pamilya. I love 'em SOOOO much. :]]

Umuwi na yung iba while Dencio and Ace stayed over for the night. Yeay. First time din may nag-overnight. At Coper pa rin. Sayang lang at sa kauna-unahang beses na pinayagan si Denise mag-overnight 3 lang kami. Bwahaha.

We used the PC for a while then settled ourselves in the Sala to watch a movie. We all agreed to watch the epic tale of Titanic. Yeah, I know it's a pretty old movie but we all haven't seen it in years. We know how the story's supposed to end, but we were all surprised that upon watching the film itself, it was like watching a whole new movie. I also realized a lot of things that i didn't realize when I first watched the film, probably because I was too young to understand. Dahil sinsipag ako isheshare ko yung mga naalala ko:

- Of course, love conquers all. Hayup. Hanggang sa lamig ng Atlantic Ocean hindi nila iniwan ang isa't isa, even if their love was short-lived. This is one of my favorite lines: "You jump, I jump right?"(kilig) Makes me want to believe in love again, oha! (btw, they kissed 13 times as far as our eyes could fathom, haha). I also saw that love transcends reason. When Rose decided to run away with Jack when the ship arrives in America, this was their conversation:

Jack: This is crazy.
Rose: I know, it doesn't make any sense.

That's the beauty of it all. :)

- There was a very irritating rift between the British and the Americans. In the film, the Britons were depicted as the snobbish, wealthy kind while the Americans were the embodiment of the common people. There was one character, Molly, who belonged to the upper class of society but was not considered one due to her American race. The Britons believed that wealth meant owning land, which was not true in Molly's case since whe acquired wealth through her husband's fortune.

- There was, and is, a saddening gap between the rich and the poor. Facts prove that most of the survivors were obviously the privileged, first-class passengers. It was frustrating to see the wealthy men and women still fretting over their wealth, their brandy and their appearance whilst the ship was in danger. Also, the life vessels meant for around 70 persons seated only around 12-20 since the snobbish high-class passengers wanted more space. What a stupid reason.

- The horrible every-man-for-himself mentality. It was horrifying to see people frozen to death in the great Atlantic Ocean. They looked like mannequins left inside a gigantic freezer. What a way to die. The most horrifying perhaps was that of a mother carrying her child in her arms as they floated frozen. Ace even said that what really happened was far worse than that. There were already 20 life vessels floating nearby carrying already-saved victims, but only one dared to return and save the poor souls, but sadly it was too late.

- I once read that fools are always so sure of themselves. This historic event is probably a prime example. The Titanic was proclaimed unsinkable and yet met its fatal iceberg during the maiden voyage. Blinded by the dream of building the largest and most stable ship in history, somehow they forgot about the safety of the passengers. Ace explained a lot of flaws in construction that I did not understand, haha. But one terrible flaw is that the number of life vessels could only accomodate half of the passengers. Why? Cluttered on the deck daw. Hayy. Sabi pa nila, "not even God could sink her."

- Destiny will always bring you to the right places. There's this one line that Jack uttered that touched my heart: "Winning that ticket was the best thing that's ever happened to me,
because it led me to you." It's cheesy but I loved it. It was one very romantic line that showed how fate puts you in the right places. Although being in one of the worst nautical disasters of all time isn't such a happy ending, destiny brought Jack there for a purpose, and I'm pretty sure it didn't really matter to him that he had to die for Rose.

- You'll never run out of love. (Ayy, kaka-relate?) If what happened to Rose happened to me, I would have been utterly depressed. But I admire how strong Jack has made her. Despite the terrible losses she had to endure, she didn't let herself fall into ruins, she didn't even allow herself to die and instead chose to survive. Instead of letting her love for Jack take over her existence, it instead gave her the strength to move on. She didn't let all her love belong to one man. I'm pretty sure Jack never left the four chambers of her heart, but she did not allow that to keep her from loving other people. (hmm...)

This post is already sooo long. Haha. I'll add other realities I may have missed out.

Toodles!

I love you whoever you are. :)

2009-04-22T23:58:00.000-07:00

Yeah. I don't really understand why I'm posting. Haha. I have nothing to talk about.

Uhh. So should I talk about my day? Haha.

I'm sleep deprived right now. I've been up with Tatay up to 2AM today. But I don't regret one bit of it. I was glad to be with him till the wee hours of the morning. I love you Tay. :D (check previous post, I devoted it to him).

So I got up at my usual hour - 10AM. oha oha. So I approximately slept 7 and 1/2 hours. Pwede na 'yun. Dati nga 4 hours pinakamatagal eh. Bohaha.

While I was trying to start taking a bath, I heard Ate Madel arrive. She's my cousin from Bohol (mother's side). She's exactly two months older than I am (May 5 sya, July 5 ako).

After my bath I went down and looked after Donah. Ang cute talaga niya. wala lang. Haha.

Huwaw. 4:30 na di ko pa rin tapos ang blogpost na ito.

Coz imma picture grabbing...looking for my face all over friendster. Suggestions puh-lease?

Haha. Baka kung ano pa masulat ko. Sige, tama na. Haha.

Manonood pa ako iCarly. Whee. :p

I love you whoever you are... :)

Nocturnal Stories: Tatay Jack

2009-04-22T10:44:00.000-07:00

Waw. It's 2am and I'm still up. Haha. Gising pa ako! Oha oha oha.

Bakit nga ba ako gising? (Yeay Tagalog ako ngayon)

Kasi ayaw ko iwan si Tatay Jayvee!

Inaasikaso kasi niya ang yearbook namin... kasi na-worm ulit ang files... at mag-isa lang siya ngayon! Di ko siya kaya iwan, kailangan ko siya tulungan.

Ngayon, wala naman akong talent or what sa pag-layout. Alam ng karamihan na isa sa aking waterloo ay ang ComputerScience. Gusto ko talaga tulungan si Tatay, kaya naghanap ako ng tutulong, at iyon si Cleverlyn Mayuga *applause for Clebb*

Ang kaso, kailangan nang matulog ni Clebb dahil pinagsabihan na siya ng kanyang ama, kaya hindi totally tapos yung last page na hinihintay, kaya kailangan gawin pa ni Tatay. :(

Dahil ayaw ko nang mag-isa si Tatay, sabi ko hihintayin kong matapos niya. Kaso ayaw niya! Gusto na niya ako matulog. Ito nga o:

Jan Vincent Delos Santos: 2log k na!
Jan Vincent Delos Santos: 2log k na!
Jan Vincent Delos Santos: 2log k na!
Jan Vincent Delos Santos: 2log k na!
Jan Vincent Delos Santos: 2log k na!
Jan Vincent Delos Santos: 2log k na!
Jan Vincent Delos Santos: 2log k na!
Jan Vincent Delos Santos: 2log k na!
Jan Vincent Delos Santos: 2log k na!
Jan Vincent Delos Santos: 2log k na!

Haha. Kaya nakipag-negotiate na lang ako. Sabi ko pag natapos ko yung blog post, matutulog na talaga ako. Haha.

So tungkol san ba yung post ko?

Kanino pa, eh di kay Tatay!

San ba ako pwde magsimula? :D

JAN VINCENT TAN DELOS SANTOS
a.k.a. Tatay, JV. Jayvee, Java, at Tatay Jack "ko"

Nakilala ko si Jayvee nung First Year pa kami. Ang unang encounter namin ay nung First Year Local Extemporaneous Speaking Contest. Siya ang contestant ng section niya, Benevolence, at ako naman sa section ko, Honesty. In the end, siya ang nagwagi ng Unang Karangalan. Congrats Tay!

Sunod kong nakilala si Jayvee noong napag-alaman kong siya 'yung 99/100 sa Summative Test sa ComSci. Noong mga panahong iyon, super "wow" ang sinumang mag-excel sa ComSci. Hindi ko alam kung naaalala pa niya pero minsan ko siyang tinanong kung siya ba si "Jan Vincent Delos Santos" noong nasa hallway kami. Sumagot ata siya nun. Di ko maalala. Haha.

Noong Second Year naman, lalo ko siya nakilala dahil super close sila ni Miguel nun (sige mang-asar pa kayo). As in super duper. Hindi ko masasabing naging super close din kami noon, pero kahit papaano nakita ko ang isang mabuting ugali ni Tatay: masipag, responsable, at higit sa lahat, mabuting kaibigan. (Di ko rin alam kung bakit hindi na sila gaanong close, ok?)

Sa Third Year at Fourth Year ko siya sobrang nakilala pa. Noon una nagkailangan pa kami ng kaunti dahil doon sa "Carol Fest" issue. Pero hindi naglaon ay nagkekwentuhan na kami, nagtatawanan, nagtutulungan, naging magkaibigan. (Wow that rhymes! Haha).

Ang galing ni Tatay. Magaling siya sa pag-kwento, sa Journ, sa pag-host, sa pagdrama, sa pagkanta, sa pag-arte, sa pagguhit, at kahit sa pag-joke. Grabe. All-in-one performer at entertainer si Tatay.

Pero ang pinakanagustuhan ko kay Tatay, ay ang una kong nakita sa kanya noong Second Year: tunay siyang kaibigan, walang duda 'yun. Lagi siyang nandyan para sa amin. At lagi siyang handang magpasaya sa kahit sino, lagi siyang handang mag-sakripisyo para sa amin, kahit nahihirapan na siya. Kahit mayroon din siyang sariling problema, paghihirap, suliranin, hindi mo ito mahahalata sa mga ngiti sa kanyang labi at sa masiglang bati niya sa amin araw-araw. Ang gwapo pa naman niya. Haha.

Napag-kwentuhan namin ni Tatay na pwede namin siyang ihalintulad sa isang "Jack-in-the-Box." Siya kasi yung laging nagpapasaya sa iba, laging handang lumabas para magpangiti. Pero ang sabi ko nga, "Ano kaya itsura ni Jack pag nasa loob ng box?" Sa likod ng mga ngiti ni Tatay, nagkakaroon din ng mga pagkakataong malungkot siya. Sabi nga sa "Kwento ni Mabuti" na lesson namin noong Third Year, ang taong nakararanas ng matinding kaligayahan, ay siya ring nakararanas ng matinding kalungkutan.

Ayaw na ayaw kong malunkot si Tatay. Gusto ko lagi siyang masaya. Isa siya sa mga kaibigang mahalaga sa akin. Masaya ako at pareho kami sa Nursing, makakasama ko pa siya.

Tay, Jack. Para sa'yo ang post na toh. Sana nagustuhan mo. Aylabyu Tay. Salamat sa lahat. Tandaan mo andito lang ako. Ako 'yung knob, ako 'yung panyo. :D

Okaaaayy

2009-04-20T21:42:00.000-07:00

So, I was down in the dumps last night and I was supposed to blog about it to put my nerves in proper order again...

...but Bien cheered me up, so tinamad na ako. *applause for Bien* haha. Thankyouuuu Bien.

Yesterday wasn't one of the best days of my life. I was supposed to meet up with my fellow incoming Nursing Freshmen (There are five of us! : Ako, Dencio, Claude, Tatay, Mark) and Ericko (Ind. Pharm) to apply for the Advanced Placement Exam. Since we agreed to meet up at 9am, I left home at 7am. I thought that was early enough, but hell no. I arrived in Manila at 11am! Gawd. I had to stand for two hours and sit for two hours, nearly cramping my legs and burning my butt. It's so damn frustrating when the bus is virtually not moving at all. What made things worse is that Claude and Tatay had to wait for me at McDo (the rest went there already since they had some appointments). That was kind of ambarrassing. They were kind enough to wait for me, so that kind of eased up my frustration. I found them at McDo with Sir Bau. Haha. Ayun.

We proceeded to UP and found Mark on the way. He informed us that there was a certain fee for it. Homaygad: P500. But anyway, we proceeded to the College of Arts and Sciences to get the request slip. Then we went to Rob-Manila to meet up with Ate Denesy. It's her 18th Birthday Party on the 25th and we me t so that she could give me my invitation. Since she was also in BS Nursing we took the opportunity to ask what we could.

We proceeded to Jollibee-Galaxy (wow!) in Recto where Jayvee's mom works as manager. He was supposed to ask for the money for the APE since we weren't prpeared (Claude had money and decided to loan me some. yeay). Tita Jho was kind enough to treat us lunch! Yeay.

Mark decided to proceed home since he was planning to pay the day after. The three of us proceeded to the Cashier at the OUR. While we were in line, we met up with Ate Wendell, former Nursing student, and Kuya Lance, former Pol.Sci student. They advised us about the pros and cons of taking the APE. Unlike what we expected, you really don't save money by passing the exam. In the first place, very few pass the exam. You would also have to take a subject of a higher unit, thus risk being separated from your block. We all decided to retreat. Haha.

Since I missed them so much (drama) I deviated from my usual way home by accompanying Tatay and Claude to the LRT station. I could get off at Central Station (just one station away) and catch a bus at Lawton. We allowed three LRTs to pass by before we got on. Haha. We just sat there and talked of random things. I really miss them so. :(

It was on my way home on the bus that I got kind of depressed. I started pondering on whether or not my decision to take Nursing was a good idea. I began wondering why I wrote it on my UP application. My reason then was that Nursing allowed you to be exposed to hospital experience. I took that a s a reason since I figured I needed to get used to seeing dead people, broken limbs, crying mothers and stuff like that. But from what we've discovered, Nursing is quite challenging. It's very stressful and the teachers aren't very generous with the grades. I even read in some Nursing forums that a grade of 1.75 is a dear blessing. Also, the College of Nursing discourages Nursing as a stepping stone into another course. If I would even dream of getting into the UP College of Medicine, I would have to be at least a Cum Laude, which is hard enough. Usually, very few Nursing graduates make it into the College of Medicine, even if they pass the NMAT.

I wondered why I didn't just take up Public Health. That's what my cousin, Ate Tina, took up, and she graduated Magna Cum Laude. I could well get into Med School with that course. If ever I decide not to be a doctor, I could take the MedTech boards or become a radiologist.

But no, I'm soon going to be a nursing student, and I'm still having double thoughts if I made the right decision. But hopefully I have. A lot of people are encouraging me, saying that I could do it, that I would get into Med School and fulfill my dream. I wish I were as confident for myself. Sigh...

**by the way, please pray for the soul of my Tito Jun Vilan. My mom just called saying he passed away. :(

Missing Rainbow

2009-04-19T06:07:00.000-07:00

Greetings. Haha.

Err. I guess my summer's quite a big bore such that I get to blog frequently now. Seriously, this hardly happens.

So, as I mentioned last night, Mama Eden, Princess Donah and I went to NAIA to fetch Papa Dondon (Mama Eden's husband). He worked 10 months overseas and now he's finally home! Yeay. We didn't see him right away. He grew his hair quite long. Even Baby Donah wasn't able to recognize her own father. I guess she's just not used to seeing him around. Heck, she's just a year old.

Uhmm. Nothing interesting happened much today. Actually I'm really not feeling quite well, which explains the title up there. No, I'm not sick or anything. It's something quite emotional this time. As people will understand from my very first post, my "blue rainbow" is my simple idea of happiness. It's the fact that I know that I can always see a rainbow in the sky; it's only a matter of how I look up at it. But tonight, I just can't seem to find my blue rainbow no matter how hard I try (no, it's not because the sky is black =_=). Yeah, I'm kind of down tonight. I wish I could tell you why I'm so down, but I guess I might as well proclaim myself as Queen of Stupidity, Dutchess of Dreamers, Princess of Hopelessness...you get the picture, right? Yes, I am basically wallowing in my own misery again.

I know, I know. I'm the only one who can stop myself. It's all in my head, I know, but it's freakin' not easy. The ghost is still lurking around the deepest crevices of my existence; that stubborn guitar string still refuses to let go of the already-broken guitar. What am I saying? I don't even play the guitar! Yes, I am STUPID STUPID STUPID. :(

Oh no. Extreme emotion coming up. Need an outlet...

Lightning

I want to stop, but the car keeps running,
I crave for peace, but the wars keep raging,
I wish for silence, but the maladic melody sees no end,
I need to laugh, but the tears keep coming back.

I banished the darkness, but the shadows keep lurking by,
I wiped off the blood, but the scars are here to stay,
I went in away from the rain,
But the lightning keeps frightening me again and again.

I can step on the brakes, but my foot won't move,
I can put down the gun, but the bullets won't let up,
I can quit playing the music, but my hand won't stop,
I can wipe away the tears, but a smile is hard enough.

I can stop looking at the shadows, but I still don't see the light,
I can bandage my wound, but the pain won't heal,
I can close my eyes and drift off to sleep,
But the thunder keeps roaring through my veins.

Obviously, I'm not ok. Ok?

Guess that's it for now.

**oh by the way, I'm currently trying to reconnect with my Montessorian friends. Hope I'm successful. I need cheering up.

Rotary Tribute to Valedictorians

2009-04-18T03:45:00.000-07:00

Good day.

I wasn't able to go online last night. I had a sort of, err, appointment. haha.

Anyway, yesterday I had a little affair at the Century Park Hotel. It's the hotel in Manila, near Harrison Plaza (Mommy says this is Dad's favorite mall, eto kasi uso dati, haha.) I attended an awarding ceremony for the valedictorians of the National Capital Region which was sponsored by the Rotary Club of Downtown Manila (RCDM). Naturally, I had to come in my school uniform (Do you realize how awkward it is to commute and have everyone staring at you, wondering why the hell you're in school uniform in the middle of summer? I couldn't have them assume I'm in college, I'm barely tall enough to be considered High School :D).

We were required to have an escort, so I brought along Kuya Nevo. We arrived at the hotel (via tricycle, oha oha) an hour early. I sat in the lobby reading The Appeal by John Grisham while Kuya Nevo went to have lunch. (It was a good thing he did. I thought even escorts had lunch prepared for them, turns out only we had lunch)

When it was time to register, I went through the whole registration process (good thing I pre-registered) and got my merienda and drinks. The lines were sooooo long. I couldn't believe how many public and private high schools there actually were. The program listed around 400+ (pre-registered pa yun, wala pa yung on that day nag-register)

Onga pala! Since it was a program for public and private schools in NCR, my dear grade school alma mater was in the list - Operation Brotherhood Montessori Center Inc., Sta. Ana Branch. Other OBMCI branches were also on the list, but only the one from Greenhills made it. Anyway, I saw on the list that the Valedictorian from my alma mater is Sanghyun Lee! Yeay. Congratulations to her! :D

So, the program got started and I was seated at Table34. Syempre super ingay ko na naman. Haha. I made 4 new friends: Alexis, Michelle. Kelvin and Toni. Yeay. May friends pa ako.

I also saw a lot of friends I met through various reasons. Haha. Hope I can remember them all:

B&G's Week: Joben, Jessie, Donn Ronn, Harold
AJSS: Geri, Mendel, Dom, Billy
Ocean Park: Angelie, Addie, Angelo

Oha oha. Haha

So we had a guest speaker. Amb. Alfredo Yao and he had a freakin cool story. His father died when he was around 12 years old. To earn a living, he worked as a err, "boy" in one of those mah jong stores in Binondo (I used to live there!). He and his mom also made a living via the "banketas." He had to stop pursuing college education so his siblings could finish. One day, he decided to open up a printing press. Once, when he was in Germany (big question: how did he get to Germany?) he was inspired by a juice packaging and tried it here in the Philippines. Sadly, no juice company accepted his packaging. So he met up with a chemist and produced their own citrus drink. He also had a designer create the name. A lot of people commented at how the designer he got usually takes around 3 months to submit a design; in his case however, it took the designer a week. He said that those instances proved that when something is really meant for you, God will put everything into order. To cut it short, that's how the famous juice drink, Zest-O, began. Now, he owns a lot more than just Zest-O. He has various drinks on the market (RC-Cola, One Iced Tea, etc) and even has his own airline (ZestAir). As if that wasn't blessing enough, he's also been blessed with 3 incredibly successful kids:

Eldest - UST, Cum Laude
Middle- Ateneo, Management Engineering, Magna Cum Laude
Youngest - UP, Summa Cum Laude

HOMAYGAD.

His talk was truly inspiring. He was even crying all throughout. It made me believe that nothing is impossible if you work hard for it.

"Lunch" was served to us around 3:00pm. Oha oha. But it was alright. The food was great. Pansit + 2 Chicken legs + salad = yum. haha. The we went through the very loooong awarding (there were like 600+ of us). We also had to introduce ourselves, our school and our escort before receiving our awards. Took like forever! But we got some really cool stuff. Aside from the usual medal and certificate, we got these:

a cute lunch box. haha
cute travel kit, with portable toothbrush and super super cute colgate. mas mahaba pa pinky finger ko :)
a white bag (similar to the ymca one)
superlamig candy!
keychain
holy kettle corn
magazines on rotary
notepad
2 bolpens
and of course...my favorite...
a specially-made-for-the-occasion Illustrazio backpack! Yeay

I've always been harboring this desire to own an Illustrazio bag. haha, even if, well, it kinda brings painful memories....

My seatmate, Alexis, also gave me his hardbound notebook:

Ella: Ang cute naman niyan!
Alexis: Bigay lang yan eh. Gusto mo sa'yo na lang?
Ella: Hindi nga?
Alexis: Sige sa'yo na lang
Ella: Sulatan mo muna message.
Alexis: (sulat)

Haha. Ang cute niya. :)

I could've brought home more prizes if I had been luckier. There was a raffle portion wherein they practically gave away stuff:

2 scooters
toaster + coffee maker
1 overnight stay for 2 at Century Park
11 Illiutsrazio bags
1 Illustrazio bag with mp4 player
toaster
5 Books on Buddha
USBs
pens with keychains
other gift prizes
LOADS OF MONEY. The organizers suddenly decided to donate 1000pesos each and have a raffle for them. They gave the winners 500pesos each.

It's hard to imagine with all these prizes and an increased probability of being picked, I didn't get a single one. 2-1-8. I am sooooo unlucky with raffles. Haha.

Kuya Nevo and I ate dinner at KFC before leaving for home. We got lost though. Haha. But we got on a bus in the end, standing nga lang. Haha. Nevermind. Twas a marvelous day. ;D

Well, I've got no more to talk about. I was at home the whole day. Tomorrow, Mama Eden, Princess Donah and I will be going to NAIA to fetch Papa DonDon. Yeay.

Ta ta. (Landi)

BTW: Word of the Day is MicroChenes. ;)

Errr..

2009-04-16T04:35:00.000-07:00

If I have any avid internet followers (Oh, dream on Ella!) they would notice that this is my Third blog. I'm not actually sure if I should be typing this, uh, "Welcome Post" since it may be a jinx that I no longer continue blogging. Let's see the short-lived lives of my blogs...

vaindolphin.blogspot.com
- This is my very first blog, created since a lot of my classmates have been blogging during that period. (They still are, though I don't seem to notice much) So through Arviel's guidance (oha oha) I was able to create it. I had a hard time looking for a decent skin though. I was lucky to have Jason back then, he did the entire layout for me. I just told him what I needed (blue, dolphins, black effect). I wonder who my blogskin creator would be now? :D:D. Anyway, I kind of abandoned this blog since i didn't open it for a year. Also, I skimmed through it and realized I didn't talk about so much. Ella back then and Ella right now are two prolly different persons. (In short, tinamad ako). And besides, when i tried opening my account again, I couldn't remember the stupid password.

splashingbluedolphin.blogspot.com
- Super short lived blog. This was supposed to be my new blog. But, once again, I forgot the password (How bad can my memory get?)

So, here I am. My Blue Rainbow.

The title has a sort of sentimental meaning for me. The concept occurred to me when I was making my "Buhay-Masci" project for Filipino class, a book about our life in MaSci (Of course, it was entitled, "Bughaw na Bahaghari" for the subject). It may sound quite weird, since a rainbow is supposed to be colorful, not only exhibiting shades of blue. But in my own autistic world, there is a blue rainbow. We all have the presumption that rainbows don't appear very often. However, you don't actually need to wait for a rainbow to see it; it's all a matter of how you gaze up at the sky. Happiness isn't a situation, it's not something you have to wait for; it's a choice, and if you choose to see that blue rainbow, camouflaged beneath the beautiful sky. It may sound entirely insane but sometimes I actually do see this blue rainbow. It may be just a figment of my imagination, but it's there, and I'm glad it is. :)

Ciao. :)